Monday, 18th January 2021 — In this third segment of my mini-series writing commentaries on our relationships with people, I will speak on friendships between brethren and sistren. I am not merely talking about those between the two genders, but also straightforwardly amongst females as well as ones solely relating to males. Many of us are well acquainted with how such bonds develop, progress, continue or end.
Having grown up in a military family, I am accustomed to living in many places, making friends and leaving them too. A linking with another person is something that we enjoy developing. Like dogs who are pack animals and prefer to be in groups or at least to have a doggie playmate, we humans behave similarly.
There are some of us who want to be in the company of individuals all of the time because we aren’t fond of being alone. I am someone who relishes solitude and has learnt to appreciate the existence of my own unaccompanied self. Nevertheless, I feel most comfortable spending no more than three consecutive days solo. After that I begin to desire seeing other persons.
Over the years, there have been many souls in human form whom I have called friends. As we all know, and the saying goes, “people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime.” Rarely, does anyone we meet, other than our families of origin into whom we are born, stay connected with us for our entire lifetime.
Sometimes our partings are amicable. At other times, they cause hardships or even trauma. In all of these comings and goings of the people in our lives, there are life lessons for each of us to teach and to be taught.
There are relationships with friends, be it a boyfriend, girlfriend, brother-friend or sister-friend, that we cherish and whose bonding deepens with time and inner-standing. These are the ones that we work on maintaining and keeping. If we are fortunate, they last for almost all of our life.
I am blessed to have a handful of them. One is with a childhood friend in England. Though we may only reach out to each other once or twice a year, we have stayed connected since the age of three years. Another is with a classmate from secondary school in Germany with whom there is a similar pattern.
Then there is a former boyfriend from university days who still calls me on a regular basis and if he can’t reach me, contacts my mother to find out how I am. I also have a girlfriend who is my partner in Sãdhana (a Sanskrit word meaning spiritual) practices and with whom we worked together in an organisation for a number of years. We also shared a house for a short period, travelled together and visited each other in our respective homes.
Over the years of residing in Anguilla, I’ve developed alliances with persons who live on the island, as well as those who come for short stays or relocated elsewhere. Some of these relations have flourished. Others dissolved over time. As we shift and change in our lives, and within ourselves, so too do our relationships with people.
It’s always healthiest to walk away from any relationship that is toxic or has served its purpose in one’s life. There are circumstances that sometime push us to make a decision to let go of such connections. Whether it’s because we decided to move on or the other person didn’t matter. The one thing I testify to be true is that everything is orchestrated by the Most-High. What is a part of God’s purpose will appear and what is not will vanish.
Every one of us must decide how we choose to live our lives. We’re empowered to design a life that we love. It’s a self-created project that I have been working on since my early twenties and one which I have focussed precise attention on virtually throughout the past 16 months. The greatest change I made to elevate my soul is to be more cognisant of persons with whom I associate.
If we surround ourselves with positive thinkers and mindful energy, we will draw more positivity into ourselves and inversely if we choose the negative. So, in 2021, let us make wiser choices and create more steadfast friendships.
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Kay M Ferguson is a conscious writer, who writes under the nom de plume Empress Extraordinaire, composing words to enlighten and uplift humanity. Connect with her on social media — Facebook and LinkedIn or email anguillawriter@gmail.com.
