Lack of sex drive (lack of libido) is common in women, but quite rare in men.
It’s normal for many people, especially women, to lose a bit of interest in sex as they get older, mainly because of diminishing levels of sex hormones or age-related health problems, but an unexpected loss of libido can indicate an underlying personal, medical or lifestyle problem, and can be upsetting to both partners in a relationship. Fortunately, there are many options now available for this problem.
What is decreased libido?
The medical term hypoactive sexual desire disorder is used for describing decreased libido, and it is used if you frequently lack sexual thoughts or desire – and the absence of these feelings causes you personal distress. Whether you fit this medical diagnosis or not, your doctor can look for reasons that your sex drive is not as high as you would like and find ways to help.
It is normal to have variations in one’s sex drive, but if you have a persistent or recurrent lack of interest in sex that causes you personal distress, you may have hypoactive sexual desire disorder, also known as decreased libido, and you should make an appointment to see your doctor.
Decreased libido in women
A woman’s sexual desires naturally fluctuate over the years. Highs and lows commonly coincide with the beginning or end of a relationship or with major life changes, such as pregnancy, menopause or illness.
A significant number of females in Anguilla, when seeing their doctor for various medical disorders, state that they have no real desire to have sex and their minds are not turned on by the prospect of love-making.Fortunately, for many of these females, this lack of libido is only temporary.Some will get over it by themselves, and a lot more can be helped by expert medical or psychosexual advice. Others do not really want to get back into the world of great sexual desire and are quite happy to lead lives which are untroubled by decreased libido.
Decreased libido in women might involve many factors, some of which will be discussed below.
Decreased libido in men
It’s natural for men to notice a gradual decrease in sex drive (libido) as they age. The degree of this decline varies, and most men maintain at least some amount of sexual interest well into their 60s and 70s.If you’re concerned about loss of sex drive — especially if the loss happened abruptly — consult your doctor.
What are the causes of decreased libido?
As is the case with men, lack of desire in women can be of either physical or psychological origin. The following are some factors associated with decreased libido:
Stress
Job stress, money troubles, caring for a sick family member, and other stressors can decrease libido. To keep your stress levels in check, learn helpful stress management techniques or seek the advice of a counselor or doctor.
Unresolved Issues
Unresolved relationship problems are one of the most common killers of sex drive. For women, in particular, emotional closeness is a major ingredient in sexual desire. Simmering arguments, poor communication, betrayal of trust, and other barriers to intimacy can steer your sex drive off the road.
Alcohol
A drink (or two) doesn’t always put you in the mood. Alcohol famously makes you feel less inhibited about sex, but it can also numb your sex drive. Even if it does not numb your sex drive, inebriation can be a turn-off for your partner. All of this goes for recreational drugs, too.
Too Little Sleep
If your sexual get-up-and-go is gone, maybe you’re getting up too early or going to bed too late. Or maybe you have insomnia or sleep apnoea. Whatever it is that is interfering with your sleep, it is also interfering with your sex drive. Too little sleep creates fatigue. Fatigue saps sex drive.
Parenting
Parenting itself does not kill sex drive. It can be hard to find time to be intimate when the children are under your feet. Hire a baby sitter for some time to nurture your relationship. If you have a new baby in the home it is important to take some time to be with your partner. Try scheduling sex during the baby’s nap time.
Medication
A number of prescription and non-prescription medications can affect your libido.
Drugs commonly linked to libido loss include:
• Antidepressants
• Blood pressure medications
• Antihistamines
• Oral contraceptives (some studies show a link; others don’t)
• Chemotherapy
• Anti-HIV drugs
• Synthetic progesterone-medroxprogestrerone (depot Provera, also called the injection)
• Various herbal medications
Changing to a different medication or different dosage may solve the problem. Other drugs may affect sex drive, too. Never stop taking a medication without consulting your doctor.
Obesity
Being overweight or obese is linked to a lack of sexual enjoyment, desire, and difficulties with sexual performance. The reason is not clear, but may be linked to self-esteem, unsatisfactory relationships, social stigma, and other psychological issues.
Testosterone
Testosterone increases sex drive. As men age, their testosterone levels may decline slightly. Not all men lose the desire for sex when their testosterone levels drop — but many do. Testosterone is linked to sex drive in women, too. A woman’s hormonal balance is more complex than a man’s. It’s not clear whether testosterone therapy is as safe and effective in boosting sex drive for women as it is for men.
Underactive thyroid
Less commonly, low libido may be caused by an underactive thyroid. This is where your thyroid gland (located in the neck) does not produce enough hormones. Common signs of an underactive thyroid are tiredness, weight gain and feeling depressed. An underactive thyroid is easily treated by taking hormone tablets to replace the hormones that your thyroid is not making.
Depression
Many antidepressants can lower your sex drive — and so does depression. If your sex drive has dropped, it might be a sign that you are depressed. Clinical depression is a serious, but treatable condition.
Menopause
About half of women report reduced sex drive around the time of menopause, even though they believe it important to maintain an active sex life. Some women indicate that they have an increase sex drive after reaching menopause. Many state they do not have to worry about getting pregnant and do enjoy sex during that period of their lives.
Menopausal symptoms, such as vaginal dryness and pain during sex, may make sex less comfortable. The hormonal changes of menopause are only part of the picture. An aging woman concerned about her sex drive should also consider the quality of her relationship, her body image and self-esteem, medications she is taking, and her physical health.
Too Little Intimacy
Sex without intimacy is a sex-drive killer. Intimacy is not just a code word for sex. If your sex life is in neutral, try spending more non-sexual intimate time together — alone. Talk, snuggle, and do various massages. Learn to express affection without having to have sex. As intimacy builds, so does sex drive.
When to see a doctor
If you are bothered by your low desire for sex, make an appointment to see your doctor. The solution could be as simple as changing the type of antidepressant you take.
Conclusion
Lack of sex drive can occur in both men and women and can occur at any age, but it is more common in women.Low sex drive can be very difficult for you and your partner. It is natural to feel frustrated or sad if you are not able to be as sexy and romantic as you want — or you used to be. At the same time, low sex drive can make your partner feel rejected, which can lead to conflict and strife. If you are concerned about your libido, make an appointment to see your doctor, so any underlying problems can be discussed and hopefully treated.
Ask Your Doctor is a health education column and is not a substitute for medical advice from your physician. Dr Brett Hodge is an Obstetrician/Gynaecologist and Family Doctor who has over twenty eight years in clinical practice. Dr Hodge has a medical practice in theJohnsonBuildingin The Valley.
