Over the past week, there has been much food for thought. There has been much talk and controversy about the word respect and being respected. We all want to be respected. We want other people to treat us with dignity. Therefore, it seems fitting for us as a people to take time out to examine its meaning and see how we can all benefit from using it in our daily interactions, with each other, and what it means for us living amongst each other.
What does this word respect mean? Why is it so important? According to the Collins’ Concise Dictionary, one of the meanings of Respect is “The state of being honoured or esteemed.”
Simply put, respect means:
? Showing regard and appreciation for the worth of someone or something.
? Honouring and esteeming someone as a person of worth.
? Respect for self, respect for the rights and dignity of all persons, and respect for the environment that sustains life.
Respect also keeps us from hurting what we ought to value.
Why is respect important?
Much of the universal values and virtues that contribute to the good of the individual and society, and affirm our human dignity, are derived from the value of respect and the value of responsibility – and we need respect to collaborate and to have a peaceful world.
To demonstrate respect, we need to do the following:
? Listen to each other
? Keep unkind thoughts to ourselves
? Speak kindly to each other
? Play fairly and wait our turn
? Do not interrupt while someone is speaking
? Say “please” and “thank you”
? Clean up after ourselves
? Share with those less fortunate than ourselves
? Treat others the way we wish to be treated
The Bible has much to say about respect that we can glean from. The Bible makes it very clear that respect is one of those values that is necessary for life. It is very specific about this. It states that children are to respect their parents and people to respect authority, and church leadership. The Scriptures also go on to instruct wives to respect and reverence their husbands and husbands to respect and reverence their wives. And if we think that someone doesn’t fit the above categories, the Lord tells us that we should respect and honour all men, as found in 1 Peter 2:17, “Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king.”
You see, cultivating respect is foundational. Without it relationships will deteriorate. Hence, it is important that respect must first start in the home as highlighted in the book of Proverbs. It has a great deal to do about how to really live in a family. So let it not surprise you that every generation has to revisit this concept of re-capturing respect if we wish to see it enforced or practiced in society. If we are going to truly respect each other, here are some things that we need to do in our homes, our communities and our society in general:
RAISE THE STANDARD OF EXPECTATION IN THE HOME, SCHOOL, CHURCH AND SOCIETY.
Too often, we allow disrespect in our family relationships and our other personal relationships because we are afraid to hurt or offend each other. Children must first be taught in the home how to govern themselves, how to respect their parents, siblings, elders and other people’s property, and how to respect and value a person’s life. They can only do this by following the example that is set by the adults in the home and wider society.
It is important that the children be taught from a very early age. Ephesians 6:1-3 – “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” If this is practiced in the home it will spill over in the school, the church and wider community. We need to get back to basics. This is foundational.
As adults, we are never to allow our homes, our schools and our society to slip below that standard of respect. We need once again to raise up the flagpole of respect. We need to say again that respect will be the order in our homes, in our schools, in our churches and in our society and we will treat each other with respect and honour.
In 1 Thessalonians chapter 5 verses 12 and 13, the Bible says: “Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in theLord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highestregard in love because of their work. Live in peacewith each other.” Although this was referring specifically to pastors, it will do us much good if we do likewise.
We are to follow our leaders and to respect them at all times. We need to learn to respect those in authority, those in leadership; those who should be respected if for no other reason than their position. Whether we love them or not is beside the point. Our children need to see and understand that as well. It is mindful that we remember respect begets respect.
Jesus taught us to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. That is foundational respect not only for others, but foryourself as well. That helps us to develop healthy boundaries and manage our anger. Jesus modelled for us how to listen to other people and how to understand where they are coming from. That is very important for respecting them and creating a foundation for respectful exchange.
Jesus showed us how to involve people on the margins as well as the powerful and the beautiful. He didn’t mock people or put them down or call them names or make fun of them. He didn’t engage in bullying. Instead, he showed people compassion. He was genuinely courteous, even towards lepers, even towards prostitutes, even towards other races of people that lots of Jews in His day wouldn’t associate with. No matter who people are or where they are from, we all need to respect each other. Our children and young people are watching and emulating our behaviour. Let us all be careful about what we are teaching them – about what messages we are sending them with our words and our actions.
WE NEED ONCE AGAIN TO SHOW RESPECT FOR GOD AND THE THINGS OF GOD.
We need to teach our children about respect for God and the things of God, and we need to practice that as adults as well. Gone are the days when the house of God was a place of reverence. So many things seem to be allowed in churches today such as people dressing any way they feel like, walking in and out and up and down the church as often as they please, eating in church, texting on cellphones and chatting and laughing at inappropriate times, just to name a few. We need to cultivate a spirit of reverence once again for the house of God and begin to hold each other accountable. God deserves our highest respect. If we don’t respect Him, how then can we respect each other?
Let us then remember four reasons why we should respect all people regardless of their lifestyle, regardless of their decisions, regardless of their behaviour or beliefs. The Bible says every person should be treated with respect because:
1. God Made Everybody. Psalms 8:4-5 states, “What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him? For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour.” Everybody is created by God.
2. Jesus Died For Everyone. We may not think much about somebody, but God does.
3. It Shows We Know God. 1 John 4:8 states, “He that loveth not — knoweth not God; for God is love.” The Bible says that God is love and if we know God then we are going to fill our lives with love. Love always treats people with respect.
4. The Law of the Harvest. Galatians 6:7 states, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” Whatever goes around comes around. Whatever we give out, we are going to get back.
Let us remember: “The truest form of love is how you behave toward someone, not how you feel about them.”
About the Author: Mrs. Marilyn Hodge owns and operates the Wellness Centre in the Farrington, Anguilla. The Centre offers Counselling Services by Appointment Only. Contact information: 476-3517 or email: marilynb@anguillanet.com. Referrals can also be made directly through the Atlantic Star Center of Medical Excellence, South Hill, Anguilla. By Appointment Only: Tel 497-0765.
