“Tit for tat” is a phrase which conveys the retaliation against a person for some action on the part of that person. Is this what we are seeing in relation to the recent spate of murders which is considered to be gang related? Is the tit for tat phenomenon confined to gang related activity?
We need to take a hard and honest look at ourselves and consider how much we have contributed or are contributing to what is fast becoming the new norm of hostility and antagonism in Anguilla. Social media is rife with personal attacks. Some are veiled and others are direct. Many persons, who one would think should lead by example, such as elected members of the House of Assembly, often join the fray adding to the animosity brewing between persons.
Workplace incidents escalate to full-blown enmity, such that employees are barely civil to each other in the workplace, if they can maintain civility. Character assassination has become the order of the day as employees are vilified on WhatsApp messages, suspected of being created by fellow employees, and which are shared multiple times.
Parents are at odds with teachers and police officers, and this is often played out in the presence of their children. Gone are the days when parents stood with teachers and the police as authority figures when seeking to instill values of respect and discipline in their children. Today they see their antagonism towards teachers and police officers as standing in defence of their children who they consider are being taken advantage of by the authority figures. No longer is a quiet word with an authority figure considered an appropriate means of engagement, if issue is to be taken with their actions. A quiet word is seen as reflecting weakness. Appearing weak is not acceptable and loud is seen as an indication of strength.
Conflict is prevalent among families today. How is such conflict resolved? Family members no longer refer to patriarchs, matriarchs or elders in the family to assist in resolving conflict. Instead, family members arm themselves with legal representation and prepare to do battle in arenas that are naturally adversarial rather than conciliatory. The gloves come off and often the adjudicator must remind them that they are family.
As adults we are still playing the ‘last lick’ game we played as children. We must get in the last lick no matter the cost, and no matter whether it contributes to a viable solution or not. We find satisfaction in having won a battle while the war still rages.
We can pretend that societal decay in Anguilla is confined to gang related violence. If we take that hard look at ourselves and engage in some honest introspection, we should realise that many of us are contributing to creating an environment where we seem only to identify with aggression as a means of resolving our differences, since many of us seem to think to do otherwise is a sign of weakness.
The “tit for tat” syndrome seems to be everywhere in Anguilla.
