On Monday, December 4th, personnel from various sectors of the Anguilla Civil Service, particularly officers who function in risky environments relative to their dealing with persons within their care and custody, benefited from a one-day seminar facilitated by Pastor Dr. Howard Simon, Pastor of the Mount Fortune Seventh-day Adventist Church.
The all-day lecture, which ran from 8:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. was organized by the Ministry of Social Development and hosted by the Programme Planner of that Ministry, Mrs. Hyacinth Bradley. The lecture’s topic was Communication, Conflict Resolution and De-escalation.
Dr. Simon focused intently on the first component of the topic, Communication, and devoted the major portion of his lecture to this one important area.
He noted that in communication understanding is of key importance. “It’s only when we understand that we really begin to communicate,” he said. “If we are just sending and receiving messages, we really have not properly communicated until we have actualized the third dimension in the communication process, that of understanding.”
“We should be keen enough to take stock of the way we send our messages,” Dr. Howard hinted. “The way we send messages can elicit a response that would either bless us or stress us. Sending messages would attract a response that can either help us or hurt us.”
He further emphasized that “even though individuals should have the communicative responsibility – the ability to respond – the way we choose to send our messages at times dictates the kind of response we would receive.”
He stressed that since it is easier to talk than to listen and understand, excellent communication can be defined as: “the ability to speak in a way that empowers others to listen and to listen in such a way that motivates others to speak.”
Dr. Simon noted that communication is important in every area of life. “Proper communication in the relationship between spouses helps to preserve the relationship,” he observed. “When we teach our children how to effectively communicate, they can avoid getting involved in violent conduct.”
“Effective communication is very critical on interpersonal levels,” he insisted. “Communication should be also very essential among nations. A lack of effective communication among nations creates the genesis of war. If diplomatic communication fails in the crisis that is now brewing between Venezuela and Guyana, for example, trouble may be closer to our doorstep than we could imagine. Diplomatic communication can also quell the conflict between Israel and the Palestinians.”
“It is important that we learn how to communicate as well as we can, because good communication causes us to grow. We grow as a person both professionally and personally when we communicate effectively. Good communication is absolutely important,” he said. “Catastrophic consequences follow careless communication. When we do not communicate well, or when we are careless in our communication practices, many times our relationships become ruined; we become adversaries toward each other and the workplace becomes a war zone.”
To concretize these philosophies of truth, Dr. Simon stated that communication is an invaluable, indispensable, irreplaceable instrument.
In expounding on the component of Conflict Resolution, he indicated that it is critical for a foundation of excellent communication to be first laid in order to successfully resolve conflicts. “If we don’t communicate well, we cannot resolve conflicts when they occur,” the Doctor said.
“There are three things about conflicts,” he noted. “First, they are ubiquitous, meaning that they are everywhere. You can’t escape them. Conflicts arise in the church, in the school, in the home and in the workplace. When conflicts cannot be managed war and strife erupt.”
“The second thing about conflicts is that they are unavoidable,” he said. “They are unavoidable because everyone has his or her unique preferences about matters that concern the issues of life. We all have varying points of views. Life is not about uniformity all the time, and because we are all different we will have conflicting views on the things of life,” . Although we may achieve uniformity and may have an apparent likeness of ideas on matters, still it is important to note that uniformity is not unity, and where there is a lack of unity there will be the likelihood that conflicts will eventually surface.”
“The third characteristic of conflicts,” the Doctor said, “is that they are indiscriminative. In other words, whether you are rich or poor, black or white, whether you are male or female, conflicts will come your way. No matter what job you may have you will experience conflicts from time to time. Conflicts are inevitable, and we have to roll up our sleeves and work towards resolving them.”
He remarked that the world is in dire need of good communication and conflict resolution skills, and gave some principles that, if properly heeded, would help to resolve conflicts.
“One of the key principles in resolving conflict is to go to work with a positive outcome in mind for your day,” he said. “In some professions it is difficult to smile because it seems like your work is so serious. Police work, for example, is like ‘life and death’ stuff. But that does not mean that you have to become a pessimist and be expecting that the outcome of the day will be negative.”
“Another principle,” Dr. Simon said, “is that we are to prioritize others-centered understanding. This means that you must condescend to the level of the person or persons with whom you are trying to resolve the conflict.”
“If it is a child, then you are to get down to his or her level so that he or she would be comfortable in relating to you on his or her turf and not yours,” he said. “In that way, you would be able to identify with him or her more easily and he or she would find it more convenient to relate to you because you would be at his or her level.”
“And, as a leader,” he noted, “you must be a humble servant. Don’t wield your power for others to see. But lead in such a way that you would understand the reasoning and uniqueness of others. And let others see that characteristic within you. In that way, you would be able to resolve conflicts more effectively.”
A third principle that should be practiced in attempting to resolve conflicts is that the person who is trying to resolve the conflict must focus on points of agreement.
“When we relate various points of agreement to those who are in the heat of the conflict it helps to change their minds and it transforms the hostile environment,” the Doctor said. “If you are just thinking about the points of disagreement, it will not help to foster any unity or understanding. Rather, doing so will tend to exasperate the tension and make the conflict worse.”
There were many other conflict resolution principles that the Doctor elaborated on, including modeling impartiality; utilizing a problem-solving approach; utilizing the strength-based approach; using mediation when necessary; and agreeing to disagree agreeably.
When it came down to De-escalation, Dr. Simon pointed out that as we do what we have to do in resolving the conflict, if we can get the conflict de-escalated, it can even go as far as saving someone’s life.
“One of the best ways to unpack the technique of de-escalation is to understand the process of escalation,” he noted. He elaborated on seven areas in the escalation and de-escalation cycle including normalcy; agitation; escalation; elevated escalation; venting of anger; a sense of apparent calm; and restoration.
At the end of the session, all of the participants expressed their feelings of satisfaction with Dr. Simon’s motivating lecture and checked out enlightened and invigorated by his invaluable presentation.
