Hi Anguillian Readers,
In our last article, we talked about time management and mentioned that saying no is a critical strategy to own your time. Why is that important? So today, I will demonstrate how saying no in the work environment is essential and offers you guidelines on how to do it effectively.
According to Warren Buffett, a famous American business magnate, investor and philanthropist: “The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say no to almost everything!” Even though the statement sounds a little exaggerated, the main idea is truly valid. Saying no bluntly is difficult for most people because no one wants to damage professional relationships. No one wants to be the “unapproachable coworker” or the “unreliable team member”. That could be very harmful and negatively affect your career development.
On the other hand, you should remember that whenever you say yes to something you are also saying no to other meaningful opportunities, sometimes sacrificing your family and personal time. To achieve work-life balance, you must learn to say no to activities, tasks, collaborations, and even opportunities, that may not align with both your short-term and long-term goals. How to do that?
A good starting point is asking yourself a simple question before saying yes or no to anything: Am I closing the door on something, or am I opening the door for better opportunities? Mastering the art of saying no does not come naturally. Most people feel guilty for disappointing a coworker or turning down a boss’ request. The issue is that agreeing to work on many things at the same time, and pitching in on too many projects, can burn you out. Learning how to say no is crucial to your success and the success of your organization.
How to do that effectively? First, you have to understand that other people’s frustration is something that you cannot control. What you can control is your reaction so that you decline a request professionally and politely. Then, you can follow some guidelines on how to say no effectively, some steps you can take to make the conversation develop as well as possible. Let us look at them.
1. Evaluate the request: Before quickly making up your mind on saying yes or no, you should assess the request. To do that it is important to make questions so you can determine the context. What would your collaboration be? What is the timeframe? Who are the stakeholders involved? Is there a deadline nearby? Is it a short or a long-term commitment? Only after drafting a clear picture of the scenario you will have enough information to evaluate how attractive, engaging, and time consuming, the opportunity presented is.
2. Be brief and clear: when you reach the conclusion that the request does not fit your schedule and needs, and career objectives, you should turn down the request being honest and up front about your reasons. If you have to say no – be clear. You do not want to keep the other person wondering if you will be able to assist or not – especially if it is time-sensitive task. Just pay attention that there is a huge difference between being concise and being rude.
3. Act in an empathetic way: remember to be compassionate and empathetic when sharing your “No” decision. Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and decline politely. Chances are the other person will not be happy with your answer, but he or she would at least be able to tolerate it. Also, be mindful about other people’s perception: if you say you are too busy to help, do not leave the office earlier or take long chatty coffee breaks. You can also offer help for a small portion of the request – you might not be able to commit to the whole request but you can help with a smaller task. Empathy will help you preserve the relationship.
4. Don’t be mean – be polite: nobody wants to build the reputation of rude, unhelpful or a no-go person. So, do not decline fast and short. People want to feel heard and appreciated, even when you say no to their request. Do the “sandwich technique”: start on a positive note, give them the bad news and wrap-up with kindness. Something like: “This sound like an exciting project but, unfortunately, I have too much on my plate at the moment working on the XYZ implementation, so I have to say no. I hope I will be available to help next time. Kill them with kindness.
5. Fine-tune your expectations: we are not offering you a magical solution. Even if you go through all the guidelines, above, you need to prepare yourself for a negative feedback. Bear in mind that you can influence how other people react, but you cannot control it. Reality is, you cannot please everyone. The help seeker’s initial reaction can be very negative but this too shall pass. Be professional and the frustration will eventually go away.
6. Practice: the best way to master the art of saying no is practice. Stay in front of the mirror and practice assertive ways to say no at your work environment. Saying it aloud pay – attention to the tone of your voice, your body language and the words you use to deny a request. That is how we get better at saying no. After all, practice leads to perfection.
