Article by Guest Contributor, Column by Dr. Ronya Foy Connor
The Gender Perspective, formerly known as the Gender Corner, is a bi-weekly column of Gender Affairs Anguilla in the Ministry of Social Development and Education. The goal of the Gender Perspective is to provoke positive thinking about using our individual roles to foster gender equality and total wellness in the state of the social, economic, political and cultural life of Anguilla. Topics will vary including reflections on current events and the lived experiences and voices from all over Anguilla. Today’s article is written by a guest contributor who discusses the changes that COVID-19 has brought about in one family’s life, including the shifting gender roles.
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“This is embarrassing to reveal but I know many of you will be able to relate. For the past seven months, I had my fair share of trying to drown my worries at the bottom of a Brugal/Heineken bottle. I was trying to escape the dark reality of what had become my life for a moment in time. All of us had to and still are dealing with the effects of COVID-19 in one way or another – but it was the weekend my babies went two days without pampers and formula that did it for me.
That was the moment things got real and the depression weighed heavily on my shoulders. Fortunately for me, I had a silver lining around my dark cloud that came in a soft spoken voice which said, “Listen to me, do you believe in God? You will get through this, take this and go get the things you need for your babies and stop worrying.” I cried tears of joy for a week. I was very grateful to that person and made a commitment to pay their gratitude forward. In times like this, a kind word of encouragement and a warm hug can go a long way.
I’ll never stop asking, “Why don’t people leave the making of things up to God? He knows what he is doing, so why second guess him or try outdo him?” I don’t understand that at all. When will we come to realise that all this will do is slowly end us all. We already have natural disasters and diseases to worry about, why add to that problem? It’s crazy how some of these “man-made” creations result in long-term suffering for us as a people. Didn’t they think about the ultimate effect of these inventions/diseases, missiles, warheads, SARS, etc. and now the COVID-19 pandemic? Enough is enough!
I don’t know what the persons responsible were thinking about when they concocted the coronavirus – and all those other bad things – but if killing millions of people in more ways than one was the goal, they have succeeded beyond measure. This virus has managed to kill millions of people, physically, emotionally, psychologically and, not forgetting, financially. Now you understand why I gave in to alcohol that time. For me, it was my only means of escape.
To all the persons who have been a silver lining, and helped to change MY mindset, I thank you – and my family thanks you. But unfortunately, not everyone is as lucky as I am. I want to encourage you to stay strong. If you have a bottle in your hand drinking, at this very moment, put it down. Take a deep breath and say, “I am going to be okay.”
Yes, the internet and electricity may have gotten cut but guess what – we can live without those.
Yes, your vehicle and house may have been repossessed but we will get through this.
Yes, everyone else in the household was laid off and all the financial responsibilities now rest on your shoulders but, guess what, we will be okay.
God never gives us more than we can bear. From a young age we have been taught sharing is caring, and I believe today that a domino effect movement has been put in place to lift us all up out of this darkness. For this too shall pass.
I was wondering the other day, if I was missing a hidden blessing during this dark time? I now have to look for or create another source of income for my family’s survival which is pretty stressful. But, on the upside, my husband being home from work strengthens his bond with our kids and with me. I might be a bit jealous the babies are closer to him, but his helping with household chores and taking care of them are hidden blessings.
Look closely at your lives and situations – you just might find your hidden blessing. For those who can’t see it – not to worry, it’s coming sooner than you think. And remember, all those who have been blessed with a silver lining moment, please, I encourage you to pay it forward.”
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If you would like to contribute to the Gender Perspective, please contact Dr. Ronya Foy Connor at Ronya.Foy-Connor@gov.ai or 497-3930.
