What an overwhelming sense of grief we feel, as a country, as a result of the murder of a young woman so full of hope and promise. Though born in Antigua, Taitu Goodwin was one of us. Anguilla had become her home. Anguillians had become her people. She proudly wore the Ms Anguilla crown, and carried herself with poise and grace as she represented Anguilla in various arenas — an enthusiastic ambassador of this her adopted homeland. A combination of beauty and intelligence, all who speak of Taitu speak of her sunny disposition, her kind spirit, her potential for greatness. But alas, she was snatched away from us in the early hours of Monday 9th September 2019. Her death left us reeling in disbelief — unable to understand how and why one of our most cherished daughters could be the latest homicide victim.
While there are many rumours circulating, we have very little reliable information about the circumstances surrounding Taitu’s death. We do know that a twenty-two-year-old young man is in police custody “assisting with investigations”. (That is the code for saying he is a suspect in the investigations.) We also know that the young man is someone with whom Taitu once had a romantic relationship. The situation has sparked a national conversation about domestic violence, the #metoo movement and the socialization of young men in society.
Conversation is good, but we must recognize that the change we require in our society demands much more. The issues we are grappling with are not new. As tragic and shocking as Taitu’s death is to us, the death of women at the hands of men, who claim to love them, is not uncommon in our region, or even the world. Despite all the strides made with regard to women’s rights, and the fact that in the Caribbean most households are headed by women, women are still objectified, treated as possessions, and measured on their ability to keep “their man” happy. Just listen to the lyrics of some soca and reggae songs which give women instructions on what to do with their bodies, and whatever else, to please their men. Consider the glorification of scantily clad bodies gyrating seductively to attract attention. Unwittingly, we have sent the message to our young women that in order to attract and keep the attention of men, they must compromise and lessen themselves so that they can be accepted. They must play the part of the weaker sex.
On the other hand, the message society sends to young men is that they are entitled. They are entitled to a woman’s attention and affection. They are entitled to touch her as they please. They are entitled to her respect — which really means to her subservience. They must be the dominant partner and, as such, it is unacceptable for a female partner to be more intelligent, successful or even more popular than them. “Their woman” belongs to them and is off-limits — even if they have other women. The fact that the passage of the Domestic Violence Act in Anguilla a few years ago was vehemently opposed, by some men from various sectors of society, speaks volumes.
These conflicting messages may not be intentional, but rather the result of centuries of socialization and historical circumstance. It therefore means that their eradication cannot be left to chance. There must be a conscious and consistent effort by parents, schools, community organisations and others to change the narrative. It won’t happen overnight, but it must start somewhere.
We cannot begin to surmise the various factors that led to the untimely death of our beloved Taitu. These issues are never straightforward or simple, and to seek to expound authoritatively based on our own perceptions can be disrespectful to her memory. However, at the very least we can ensure that her death is not just another five-day talk. Instead, we can honour her short but meaningful life, by ensuring that we take deliberate steps to prevent the murder of another woman. We must do it for our nation’s mothers, our sisters, our daughters. Their lives matter.
