For this Mother’s Day I am paying tribute to my late, compassionate and loving mother, Melvina Reid affectionately known as “Mel” by her children, family and friends. While at the cemetery this week as we laid to rest one of my brothers in the double vault where my mom was also placed, one of my nephews asked me why wasn’t the tombstone named. I informed him that when you left a legacy of compassion, love, giving and humility as Mel did, one does not need his or her name on a tombstone to be remembered. Since her death in 2016, to this day my mom’s name is still being called especially when I meet her family and friends and when attending Ebenezer Methodist Church where she worshiped. My mother was truly an icon and a servant leader who is remembered not for what she got out of life, but the servant leadership spirit and her passion for giving, sharing and putting the interests of others above her own.
My mother, Mel, was an inspiration who touched the hearts and lives of many who came into contact with her. Throughout her life she persevered through adversity and challenges, but she left a legacy of love, compassion, giving and caring about the well-being of others. Mel always put herself second behind those whom she saw as the least in society, or persons she just genuinely cared for. Despite her setbacks in life, Mel always kept her priorities straight. The love and care for family and friends remained her focus. Many persons get distracted by insignificant things in life. Many of us complain and focus on our little problems, and forget that there is much more to life and that we have to be thankful in everything and for everything. At times, I ponder how some of us who are blessed with so much still can complain about trivial things, while some people elsewhere are fighting for their lives. Mel was always contented with the little that she had, she would even leave herself undone and would give it to someone who was in need. She was also wise to the fact that “little is much when God is in it.”
Mel was a hardworking lady. She single-handedly raised her children performing the dual roles of mother and father. Mel did everything in her power to provide for her children. There are many stories that gave evidence to this. For example in the early 70s, Mel was one of the few women in Anguilla involved in the construction industry working alongside men in The Valley and Rendezvous Bay sifting sand. Additionally Mel carried buckets of drinking water on her head from The Valley to satisfy the thirst of the men who were working at the then rock crusher at Corito. The late Mrs. Haskins of Corito was so moved and touched by Mel’s plight that she authorized Mel to fetch water from her cistern nearby for the workers.
As a servant leader, “Mel” was all about service to others and not looking for anything in return. Mel farmed a small plot of land at Wallblake where she used to reap corn, peas, yams and potatoes. She never one day sold anything that she produced on that farm. In fact she gave away the majority of her harvest to family members and friends. She was also the Caretaker and cleaner of the Ebenezer Methodist Church. The stipend that was given to her for undertaking this task, Mel would give it back to the church as offering. Mel taught her children the principles of sharing and not getting trapped in hoarding and selfishness. Gone are the days when we were a society looking out for each other. Sharing, giving and uplifting one another. Our Mom taught us that “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”
Despite her humble and unassuming demeanour Mel was a strict disciplinarian. Mel did not spare the rod in ensuring that her children suffer the consequences for behaviours she deemed inappropriate. Her motto was spare the rod and spoil the child. Mel detested the rude behaviour of children. In dishing out punishment to her children, she was a skillful tactician. Her children have memories of her waiting until they slept at night and being woken up by lashes. Mel ensured that all her children especially her sons were able to wash and cook so that we could take care of ourselves.
My mother, Mel was my greatest mentor and one of the great servant leaders in my opinion who demonstrated and taught us that life is about helping others and the sole meaning of life is to serve humanity. May her soul continue to rest in eternal peace.
