Do you honour your father? This is probably the most ticklish question one could ever ask of many children or adults. The word father at times appears to be a curse word. Some people just cannot bring themselves to talk about, or even identify with, the man who is supposed to be their father. Never mind honouring them.
Fathers’ Day usually provokes many troubling and negative emotions in the hearts of many children – young and old alike especially at this time of year. It poses a difficult time for many people who have lost a loving father, or a father they have never known, or a father they wished they had, or a father at whose hands they have suffered greatly.
What about you? What emotions well up inside you when you think about your father? Do you have difficulty thinking about him and honouring him? If your dad is alive and you have a problem with him, it might be a good time to resolve whatever issues that come between both of you. Seeking help to work through those issues should be a must, because they have a tendency to affect your life. You see, honouring your father is an important commandment that was mandated by God. It is a commandment with a promise attached: – “That thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee” (Exodus 20:12).
This is a serious commandment with some conditions attached. Therefore it should not be taken lightly. No matter how you feel about your father, God expects you to honour him. To honour your father means: always doing what he bids you as long as it is right, always treating him with the highest respect, and taking care of him when he is sick and has grown old. That is what God expects of us as children. You might be saying – Me? Never! It is okay to have those feelings but you have a charge and a responsibility nonetheless.
Whatever your father has done or did not do, is up to him. He has to give an account to our heavenly Father for his actions. You have to give an account of yours. You might be wondering – why should I have to honour him when he refused to support me, neglected me, abused me, and disowned me?
We must honour our fathers because God loves us, and we seek to love them as He has loved us. It is that simple! If your father has hurt or wronged you find him and talk about it if that is possible. Find it in your heart to forgive him and make amends. If your father has passed away, pray that God will give you the strength and whatever it takes for you to forgive him and move on. We are all imperfect beings. We have all made mistakes and treat each other unkindly from time to time – and are in need of their forgiveness as well. If we cannot forgive our earthly fathers their trespasses, God will not forgive ours either.
The Bible is filled with men who were good and bad fathers that should serve as examples for us. Their lives will demonstrate what fathers ought to do and not do. God expects fathers to be diligent in instructing their children in the ways and words of the Lord for their own spiritual development and well-being. This is highlighted in Proverbs 22:6, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” The training is designed to make clear to children the manner of life they are intended for. Ephesians 6:4 admonishes fathers exactly what it is they should and should not do. Hear what it said: – “Fathers, do not provoke your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” The word “provoke” means “to irritate, exasperate, rub the wrong way, or incite.” A father doing this will foster negativity in his children and cause them to nurture evil in their hearts.
A wise parent will guard against this and seek to make obedience desirable and attainable by love and gentleness. Fathers are supposed to be instruments in God’s hands to use as He desires. The whole process of instruction and discipline must be that which God commands, and which He administers, so that His authority should be brought into constant and immediate contact with the mind, heart and conscience of children.
Here are some of the honourable men that fathers can emulate. A study of their lives will help them to observe many of their challenges as fathers, and help them to guard against many of the pitfalls of fatherhood. Let us take a peek view into the lives of some of these great men:
Adam was the first father and with no earthly father as a model. He had to rely on God for direction and guidance but you know what happened in his family. Adam has much to teach today’s fathers about the consequences of their actions and the absolute necessity of obeying God.
Noah stands out among fathers in the Bible as a man who clung to God in spite of the wickedness all around him. Noah was far from perfect, but he was humble and protective of his family. He bravely carried out the tasks God assigned to him. Fatherhood may often be viewed as a thankless role, but God is always pleased by fathers’ devotion.
Abraham was given an awesome responsibility to father an entire nation. He was not perfect. He made mistakes when he relied on himself instead of God. Still, he embodied qualities that any father would be wise to develop.
Jacob too had his challenges. He was a schemer who tried to work his own way instead of trusting God. Jacob fathered 12 sons who founded the 12 tribes of Israel. As a father, he favoured his son Joseph, causing jealousy among the other brothers. The lesson from Jacob’s life is that God works with our obedience and in spite of our disobedience to make his plan come to pass.
Moses had two sons, yet he also served as a father figure to the entire Hebrew people as they escaped from slavery in Egypt. This was a tremendous responsibility. His life serves to show today’s fathers that overwhelming tasks can be achieved when they stay close to God.
Joseph, the foster father of Jesus Christ, is noteworthy to mention. He played this role with great distinction. He went to great pains to protect his wife, Mary, and their baby, and then saw to Jesus’ education and needs as he was growing up. Joseph taught Jesus the carpentry trade. The Bible calls Joseph a righteous man, and Jesus must have loved his guardian for his quiet strength, honesty, and kindness.
David was an exceptional person. He was known as the man after God’s heart. He is one of the most remarkable personalities in the Bible – a man with outstanding ability and very human failings. He was a brave fighter, a wily politician, a gifted musician and poet.
As you study the lives of these men, you will see that all people have worth. Some of them also make grave mistakes while parenting. Fathers too will make mistakes but they should never define who they are. They are all in need of God’s love and forgiveness. God the Father should be the ultimate role model for all human dads. His love, kindness, patience, understanding, wisdom, and protectiveness are qualities that are worth seeking and emulating.
“How blessed are the children, Who in their fathers see The tender Father-love of God, And find their way to thee (Johnson).”
“We’re thankful for our fathers, Lord, They’re special gifts from You;
Help us to show we honour them, By what we say and do (Sper).”
Remember: The best fathers not only give us life – they teach us how to live.
About the Author: Mrs. Marilyn Hodge owns and operates the Wellness Centre in the Farrington, Anguilla. The Centre offers Counselling Services by Appointment Only. Contact information: 476-3517 or email: marilynb@anguillanet.com. Referrals can also be made directly through the Atlantic Star Center of Medical Excellence, South Hill, Anguilla. By Appointment Only: Tel 497-0765
