Decreased libido affects many couples, but many individuals are reluctant to discuss this topic with their health care providers. The topic, libido, is still a tabooed one in many Caribbean countries including Anguilla. A few women with decreased libido do seek professional help, but many others, including men, fail to seek help. In the vast majority of cases with decreased libido, a variety of treatment options are available but many individuals affected are too embarrassed to talk about this problem with their health care provider.
What is Libido?
Libido, also colloquially know as sex drive, is a person’s overall sexual drive or desire for sexual activity. Various levels of hormones, such as testosterone, are believed to affect sex drive. Social factors, such as work and family, can also influence sex drive – as do internal psychological factors, like personality and stress. Sex drive may be affected by medical conditions, medications, lifestyle and relationship issues. There is no universal agreed measure of what is a healthy level for sex, but many adult individuals do experience decreased libido at some time in their lives. When it becomes a problem often varies with individuals.
What are some causes of decreased libido?
There numerous causes why an adult couple might have decreased libido. This might be due to problems with the male or female or a combination of male and female problems. The following are some common causes of decreased libido in adults both male and female.
Partner problems
Problems with your partner are among the top causes for decreased sex drive. For women, feeling close is a major part of desire. For both sexes – fights, poor communication, feeling betrayed, or other trust issues can lead to decreased libido. Many of these problems can be treated by the individuals themselves or with the assistance of a trained professional.
Alcohol abuse
It is believed that alcohol abuse is widespread, in Anguilla, at all ages. A drink may make you feel more open to sex, but too much alcohol can numb your sex drive. One partner being drunk can also be a turn-off for your partner. If you have trouble drinking less, seek help from a professional. If you are an alcoholic, contact AA today as well as your doctor.
Insomnia (Too Little Sleep)
Many of us have very hectic lives and do not get to bed at an appropriate time, and some of us also have problems getting to sleep. Lack of sleepcan adversely affect our sex life. Try to improve your sleep habits, and if that does not help, talk to your doctor.
Having children
The act of becoming a father or mother does not cause you to lose your sex drive, but having children can cause you to lose some time to be close, and this can affect your libido. Some women, with the arrival of a newborn, tend to forget or ignore their husbands and this could result in decreased libido (and other negative behaviour). Couples should find time for their partners, even if it means hiring a babysitter on some days. This can improve the relationship and improve your sex life among other things.
Medication
There are some drugs, some requiring a prescription and others available over- the-counter, that decrease your desire for sex. The following are some drugs that can affect libido:
• Antidepressants
• Blood pressure medications
• Some types of birth control pills
• Chemotherapy drugs
• Anti-HIV drugs
Switching drugs or dosages may help. Ask your doctor about that and never stop taking any medicine on your own. Tell your doctor, too, if your sex drive falls soon after you start taking a new drug.
Poor body image
Your sex drive can improve if you like how you look. Feeling good about yourself can put you in the mood. If your partner has low esteem, assure him/her that he/she is sexy, and still encourage him/her to work on improving his/her body image.
Obesity
When you are overweight or obese, your sex life can be affected negatively. There are many reasons for this. It could be that you do not enjoy sex, cannot perform like you want to, or are held back by low self-esteem. Working on how you feel about yourself, with a counselor if needed, can lead to great success.
Erection problems
Men with ED (erectile dysfunction) often worry about how they will be able to perform sexually, and that worry can drain their desire. ED can be treated, and couples can also work to keep it from affecting their relationship. If you have ED, talk to your doctor today. Many men are reluctant to discuss erectile problems with their doctors, but it is important to do so. I encourage all men with ED to choose a doctor who they can trust – and they will be surprised on the various treatment options now available for erectile dysfuction.
Low testosterone levels
Testosterone, also called the “T” hormone, fuels sex drive. As men age, their testosterone levels may drop slightly. Not all lose the desire for sex, as this happens, but some do. Many other things — from relationships to weight — also affect a man’s sex drive and testosterone levels, so talk to your doctor or health care professional to deal with this matter.
Depression
More and more individuals are being diagnosed with depression in recent years. Depression can shut off pleasure in many things, including sex. That is one of many reasons to get help. If your treatment involves medication, tell your doctor if your sex drive is low because some (but not all) drugs used to treat depression can lower sex drive. Talk about it with your therapist, as well.
Menopause
For many women, sex drive takes a dive around menopause. This might be due to other symptoms such as vaginal dryness and pain during sex (which can be treated). Every woman is different, and it is possible to have a great sex life after menopause by tending to your relationship, self-esteem and overall health. You might need to see your gynaecologist if you have severe symptoms associated with the menopause.
Lack of closeness
For many individuals, especially females, a feeling of closeness is important for a good sex life. Intimacy is more than just sex. If your sex life is on the decline, try spending more non-sexual time together, just the two of you. Talk, snuggle, and trade massages such as texting exciting messages. Find ways to express love without having sex. Getting closer can rebuild your sex drive. If you need professional help, talk to your therapist or health care provider.
Medical condition
Some medical conditions can lead to decreased sex drive. Indeed any life threatening condition can result in decreased libido. In some individuals chronic conditions can also lead to sex problems. It is important for individuals to have a medical check-up if they think their sex life might be as a result of a medical disorder.
Conclusion
Although many adults are believed to have decreased libido, at sometime in their lives, this topic is seldom discussed. I encourage those individuals who suffer for many months or years with this problem to seek professional help. Various treatment options are now available to improve your sex life. Talk to your trusted doctor/health care provider today.
Ask Your Doctor is a health education column and is not a substitute for medical advice from your physician. Dr Brett Hodge is an Obstetrician/Gynaecologist and Family Doctor who has over thirty years in clinical practice. Dr Hodge has a medical practice in the Johnson Building in The Valley.
