Are you a victim of fear and intimidation in the workplace? Or do you know of anyone who may be experiencing it presently? Well, the good news is, you need not accept it or live with it anymore. There is something you can do about it. There are some actions you can take that will help you to deal with it and overcome it in your daily life.
If you have never heard about it, you may be wondering what exactly constitutes workplace fear and intimidation, how to recognize when it is happening and how to deal with it. Workplace Intimidation by definition means to frighten someone into doing or not doing something, by means of violence, threats or blackmail or to create a feeling of fear, awe, or inadequacy in another person. The word “fear” means to create a feeling of disquiet or apprehension in a person.
This workplace intimidation should never be taken lightly by anyone. It is very serious stuff that can severely affect a person’s health, a company’s or organization’s performance and even its longevity. Therefore, if left untreated, this bullying behaviour can drive good partnerships apart and ultimately cause businesses to close down forever.
People who use workplace intimidation, also called workplace bullies, are generally those who are unsure of themselves, are depressed and are always looking for something that someone else has.
Over the centuries, many leaders and rulers have used it and the practice still exists today in the workplace and organizations around the world.This “leadership style” has many common denominators, whether it’s practiced in a school building or a corporation. These are some of the ways that fear and intimidation is used:
1. Use of an inconsistent interpersonal style: -One day, acting very warm, friendly, and open towards people, behaving as if you are interested in their personal lives and problems they might be having at work, – then the next day, acting very cool, formal and aloof.
2. Constantly shifting priorities and initiatives: Keep people working on newly stated priorities until they are about 90 percent finished; then introduce a new direction.
3. Schedule meetings without announcing the agenda: Make the meeting sound very important but be very vague about the purpose. Then fully prepare for the meeting’s topic. Call on people, asking pointed questions. Act displeased with uncertain responses.
4. Reprimand people the right way: This is perfect for creating fear. Describe and rehash their error in painful detail.
5. Waving the big stick frequently: Frequently remind workers that you control their destiny.
6. Keeping some of the weak workers around: Others will see their fear and intimidation and learn to fear you. Use the weak ones to be the eyes and ears, to provide juicy bits of information or spying on others.
7. Ganging up on individuals: Use of authority of their position and policies to gain leverage.
8. Playing favourites: Developan inner circle of loyal supporters, let them in on little secrets, give them special favours, and spend extra time with them. Make outsiders feel excluded.
Does anyone of those things sound familiar or ring a bell to you? Do you now understand how it operates in the workplace? Well, knowledge is power. Use it to combat the enemy. Take full responsibility for your own power. Remind yourself of Eleanor Roosevelt’s words, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” You are in control of your feelings, and you are responsible for your reactions. People only have the power you give them. Don’t ever give your power away.
Whenever you are feeling fearful and intimidated, tell yourself that someone who is consciously trying to intimidate you is actually fearful. He or she has a need to make others feel inferior, so he or she can feel safer. When you recognize this childlike behaviour, you will see the person in a different light, and he or she would not be scary anymore to you. You may even feel compassion and affection towards the person. When he or she feels those emotions from you, he or she will soften in your presence.
It is wise to check with the person who is making you feel intimidated. The behaviour that is affecting you may not be conscious, and the person may be willing to change it. On the other hand, he or she may not be willing to own the behaviour, or may be consciously trying to intimidate or sabotage you for reasons of his or her own.
If the person is conscious of his of her behaviour towards you, explain clearly the effect his or her behaviour is having on you, and that your performance, as well as that of the company or organization as a whole, is suffering as a result. If you consider discretion appropriate in your situation, send the person a letter or e-mail rather than responding to the intimidation verbally. Keep a copy for yourself so no misunderstandings arise about what you said.
There are some other things that you can do as well:
1. Act confident in and outside of the workplace. Take pride in your work. Keep your work area clean and tidy and dress professionally. Feeling proud of who you are and the work you produce will encourage you to stand taller and smile brighter. This will go a long way in helping to erase the fear in general.
2. Breathe deeply and stay in the present moment. Stop painting fearful pictures in your mind of circumstances that might never happen. Remain calm and ask yourself how you should react in a difficult situation. Listen for guidance and follow those instincts.
3. Have faith. Know that you are capable of doing a good job or that your opinion is valid. Speak your mind respectfully to someone who says something that offends you. Faith in yourself also means having confidence in yourself. Make yourself believe that your position in the relationship is valuable.
4. Reject negative thoughts and people, and replace them with positive influences. When you find yourself afraid of someone or something, recognize what you are doing, reject the negative influences and fill your mind and your physical space with positive reinforcements. Tell yourself how capable you are, and find proof in your life of your greatness.
5. Develop a protective shell to handle criticism. This does not mean you should reject criticism. What it means is that when someone is critical of you or your work, listen to the words without attaching feelings of guilt or shame to them. Don’t judge yourself a bad or untalented person just because someone doesn’t like you or your performance. The criticism can help you improve. And some of the criticism will not be merited. It is up to you to decide which pieces of criticism can help you improve and which make no sense.
6. Sell yourself. Volunteer for tasks because you have confidence you can do them, even if sometimes you don’t exactly know how you will do them. Walk through your day as if you are sure of your abilities. Act like you deserve the skills you have, and express your willingness to prove it on a regular basis.
7. Use specific defenses for verbal intimidation techniques. For example, if your boss habitually shouts at you, remain calm and respond in an emotionless manner that you’d prefer to continue the conversation after he or she had a chance to calm down. If someone constantly interrupts you, slow down the conversation so you can finish what you are saying. Respond to a barrage of jargon or information – meant to intimidate you – with innocent curiosity, requesting clarification of minute points.
8. It is incumbent upon you, that you set clear boundaries at all times. Let people know how you expect to be treated. When you respect yourself, others will also respect you.
Most importantly, remember – Leadership is based on inspiration, not domination; on cooperation, not intimidation. There is a coach and a spirit that lives within you. Let them guide you.
About the Author: Mrs. Marilyn Hodge owns and operates the Wellness Centre in the Farrington, Anguilla. The Centre offers Counselling Services by Appointment Only. Contact information: 476-3517 or email: marilynb@anguillanet.com. Referrals can also be made directly through the Atlantic Star Center of Medical Excellence, South Hill, Anguilla. By Appointment Only: Tel 497-0765
