One moment you’re idly scrolling through your phone, the next you’re knee-deep in someone else’s highlight reel, wondering if you somehow missed the memo on how to live the “perfect” life.
In today’s world, social media feels less like a casual pastime and more like an ever-present mirror reflecting everything we think we lack. I should know — I’m living it.
I’ve long found myself caught in the endless loop of scrolling through Instagram, Facebook, TikTok — you name it — only to be confronted with the latest announcement of a friend’s engagement or pregnancy, a thriving new business venture or people jumping up at J’ouvert or Eyes Wide Shut. Each post, though celebratory in nature, has a way of quietly whispering, “What about you?”
It’s not just me. Many in Anguilla have decided enough was enough, deleting either their Instagram or Facebook accounts altogether. In the words of one 25-year-old female, “It was making me feel depressed – like I wasn’t doing enough with my life.” A 30-year-old male friend went a step further — vanishing from all platforms except WhatsApp, stating that he “had no need for them” but also wanted peace away from the constant flood of curated lives. Years ago, I once tried to distance myself too, deleting Facebook, but that digital detox lasted only a few weeks. Somehow, the pull of seeing what’s happening in my friends – or celebrities’ lives – always won.
Complicating matters is my work — a career where being online is practically a requirement. Not only am I expected to monitor news and trends, but there’s a growing pressure to establish a personal brand, to push myself “out there.” Yet the hesitation remains strong. Every time I log in, the risk of doomscrolling lingers — that mindless browsing that starts innocently enough but ends with feeling like everyone else has life figured out while I’m still “loading.”
Experts call this phenomenon “social comparison theory,” first introduced by psychologist Leon Festinger in 1954. It suggests that people determine their own social and personal worth based on how they stack up against others. Anguillians already naturally compare things heavily and social media amplifies this natural tendency even further, often to the detriment of young people’s mental health.
According to a 2022 report by the Royal Society for Public Health (RSPH) in the UK, platforms like Instagram and Snapchat were associated with increased feelings of anxiety, depression, loneliness, and FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) among young people aged 14–24. Social media isn’t just about connecting anymore. It’s about comparison — and comparison is the thief of joy.
But why is it so hard to break free?
Because social media is meticulously designed to keep us hooked. The dopamine hit we get from likes, shares, and comments mirrors the reward system activated by addictive substances.
Still, we must remember: social media is a highlight reel, not the director’s cut. It shows the “after” pictures, rarely the messy “before.” It’s easy to forget that behind every glamorous travel post may be maxed-out credit cards, and behind every smiling wedding picture, a long, complex relationship journey.
So, is a balance possible?
Yes. But it takes intention and setting firm boundaries: using social media mindfully, scheduling time for it, unfollowing accounts that make you feel inadequate or are just toxic, and reminding yourself that what you see online is heavily curated.
Many are also advocating for a ‘digital detox’ — temporarily cutting out social media to reset your brain’s reward pathways. It doesn’t have to be forever. Even short breaks have been shown to reduce anxiety and boost self-esteem, according to a 2021 study in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology.
Personally, I’m still navigating this rocky terrain. Some days, I succeed in limiting my time online. Other days, I find myself slipping back into old habits. But what I’m learning — slowly — is that my journey is my own. There’s no strict timeline for life’s milestones, no set age by which you must have achieved them. Life is not a race, and social media, despite its omnipresence, doesn’t get to define my worth — or yours.
