How long will you mourn? How long will you mourn over him? How long will you mourn over her? How long will you mourn over it? They are gone. They are dead. It is over! It is time to move on! Has anyone ever had the audacity to say those mean words to you? Have those words affected you? How did those words make you feel?
Do not feel intimidated by those words. You have a right to grieve. Grief is a very painful experience. Everyone experiences it differently. Grieving is not bad. Mourning is good for the soul. It is a time to cry, a time to reflect and a time to heal. It is a natural process of coming to terms with loss, pain, and regrets. However, excessive grief is unhealthy. It may lead to death, fear of living, loneliness, and sickness, so a person must take care of him or herself during the process.
Who or what are you mourning over? It is all right to list all your hurts, regrets and disappointments and do the work. Never let anything or anyone keep you stuck in the past. Do not allow anything or anyone hinder you from moving forward. Learn to let things and people go. Do not get stuck in life by dwelling in the past.
No one can figure life out. Trying to make sense of everything in life will make your life miserable. Many times, in life we spend too much time mourning over the death of a loved one, or over the death of a relationship or over some of the things that happened in our lives. We must control our life instead of having life controlling us. We cannot change the past. What has happened has happened. What is done is done. We cannot go back and change it, so we must learn to move on.
You see, the question, “How long will you mourn?” is not a bad one. It is all about our perspective. It does not mean that we cannot express our emotions. It does mean that God does not want us to mourn indefinitely. When we stay in the state of mourning it blinds us from seeing any positive prospects that are on the horizon. There are stories in the Bible that highlight that to us clearly.
The story of Naomi for example. When Naomi’s husband and sons died, in her grief state she said call me not Naomi but call me Mara for I am bitter. She could not see the big picture. She could not see that her life was just unfolding. She could not see what God was doing in her life. She could not see that God was preparing a better and brighter future for her. But He did.
Another example was the story of Joshua. The Lord said unto him, “My servant Moses is dead. This day I will begin to magnify and exalt you in the sight of all Israel, so that they may know that just as I was with Moses, I will [also] be with you.” God expected him to move ahead.
Another example was at the very time that Samuel, the Prophet, was “mourning” for Saul. He saw no positive future for Israel. He could not see that God was planning wonderful things for His People. So God intervened and interrupted his thoughts and asked him, Samuel, how long will you mourn for Saul, seeing I have rejected him from reigning over Israel? Fill your horn with oil, and go. I will send you to Jesse the Bethlehemite: for I have provided Me a king among his sons. God did not rebuke Samuel for mourning over Saul but, rather, for the length of time.
You see, my friend, there is a time that mourning must end because it will block us from moving on. So, the question to you today is, “Who are you still mourning for?” What are you mourning over that God has long moved on from? Why do we try to hold on to things and people when God has told us to stop crying over them? What we need to understand is that mourning should only be for a season. God never intended for us to remain stuck in it. He intended that after a period we should move on. Time to get on with it because he has something new for us. He has something new for us to do. It is time for the new thing. New relationships and new opportunities lay ahead.
How long will you mourn Samuel? God instructed him to move on from King Saul. What God said to Samuel many years ago, He is saying to each of us today- How long will you mourn? It is time to move on! Dry your tears and keep moving. When circumstances threaten to rob us of our progress, and frustrate the future God has planned for us, it is important to keep moving. It might sound harsh to us while we are hurting, but the best advice we can possibly hear is, “How long will you mourn…Be on your way.” We cannot do that while we are paralysed in our past. God has a plan for tomorrow and wants us to take part in it. The problem of being locked into our past can lead to our losing our sense of our future.
So, whatever the circumstances might be, however the situation may present itself, God is planning wonderful things for us, that is, if we will only believe Him. Is there anything or anyone that you are still giving your thoughts, emotions, or energies to? Do you need to let go of something or someone in the past so you can embrace the present? Well, it is time to do so.
You see, dead things are dead. There is no life in them. Life is all about choices. To move on, we must make a choice. We must choose. Will you move on, or will you remain stuck? That is the question for you today. You must decide if you are going to continue to mourn over things that God has clearly let go of. My friends, let go and lay hold to the future and promises that God has in store for your life.
Samuel, how long will you grieve for Saul? Samuel has been mourning for four years. Stuck, in the past, for four years. Wanting to return to “normal” for the last four years. He got used to things being a certain way. Sadness. Grief. Mourning. Then God broke through and said, “It’s time. “It’s time to stop mourning the past, Samuel. It is time to start moving forward into the future that I have planned for you.” God has plans for the future. And they are good plans. Better plans. Samuel needed to quit dwelling on what had happened with Saul and get on with things. The future plan that God had in mind for Samuel, and the people, was King David. A man after God’s own heart. Whether we like it or not, there are some people, circumstances, and situations we must learn to get over.
My friends, God is asking us today: “How long will you grieve over the past? I have plans for your future. Good plans. Get up. Go. Step into that good future.” You see, at some point we must step into a future that is unknown and unclear to us. At some point we must look at the goodness of God and assume that there is something good ahead. Something good. Far better than we could ever imagine. Why not trust God with our future? He alone knows and sees the bigger picture.
Remember: The past is the past. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present. Life can only be understood backwards – but it must be lived forwards.
About the Author: Mrs. Marilyn Hodge owns and operates the Wellness Centre in the Farrington, Anguilla. The Centre offers Counselling Services by Appointment Only and has now published Positive Living Volume 3. Contact information: 476-3517 or email: marilynb@anguillanet.com. www.facebook.com/axawellnesscentre.
