Justice for Tamar! All over the world, people are crying out for peace, but seldom do they cry out for justice. Why do you think this happens? You see, fighting for justice is hard. It is often quite gut-wrenching. It is a significant emotional investment. Therefore, anyone seeking justice must be prepared to be relentless in that cause.
Everyone knows the story of Tamar, King David’s daughter, who was denied justice even by her own father. The story is found in 2 Samuel 13, that Tamar’s half-brother Amnon became obsessed with her, so much so that it made him ill. With a little bad advice from his cousin Jonadab, Amnon gave into this obsession. He gave into his desire for his sister Tamar by concocting a plan to take advantage of her – he raped her. Men in positions of power remained silent while an innocent woman sat in desolation and despair.
This horrendous story offers insight into a tragic aspect of the human condition. People hurt each other. Even people who are intimately connected by family bonds can misuse their power and sexuality to hurt others. This story is a powerful reminder that abuse can happen in any setting: in homes, churches or institutions, in any sphere of society – a church-going family, a wealthy family, or even an influential family, so we need to become aware of it.
Tamar became a victim! Her life was changed forever. The rape set her future in stone, and she was left without options – no recourse. Within her culture, she was looked upon as used or damaged goods. What do we do with this story? How do we respond? What message is there for us? How do we change the story? How do we change the narrative? We cannot change it for Tamar, but we can change it for others in our society and the world in general.
Just like Tamar, a victim’s life is changed forever once she is raped or abused. Healing is not as simple as forgiving or forgetting. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, anxiety, drug and alcohol abuse, depression, and suicide are a reality for victims. Victims cannot just “suck it up” and move on. They also need justice.
There is therefore a call for action to be taken in order for the healing process to begin. Who will pray with the many Tamars’, and stand by their sides as they scream for justice today?
Victims of rape and abuse are still shamed. Victims carry around the feelings and thoughts that they are to blame for what happened to them. Victims continually deal with the belief that they are dirty, damaged goods that no one can love. Victims have to navigate how they will tell family, friends, spouses, and children. And, too often, the perpetrators and the attackers experience no repercussions – and systems, families and institutions remain silent.
We can no longer allow this to continue. We must act. We must engage in changing our culture. We can all learn not to treat another person as an object of desire or as an object for us to exert our will and power over. We must speak out against any talk or actions that normalise rape and abuse. We must never be like Jonadab, the crafty cousin and friend, who encouraged Amnon to pursue his misdirected desires – and we must never be like David who kept silent. We have a responsibility to speak out and defend the Tamars among us.
We must never condone the actions or make excuses for the perpetrators of abuse or rape. We must speak up when needed and advocate for those who cannot speak. A part of changing the culture has to be holding perpetrators accountable for their actions. We have to stop making excuses for inappropriate behaviour. These Tamars among us are our nieces and nephews, sisters and brothers, aunts and uncles – and even mothers and fathers. No one is often spared. All too often though, it is usually men in positions of power and influence that try to cover things up – men who get drunk with power and think they can do whatever they want, just like David and just like Amnon. Everyone has a right to feel safe no matter who they are or where they are. No one should ever be denied Justice.
Remember: “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”
About the Author: Mrs. Marilyn Hodge owns and operates the Wellness Centre in the Farrington, Anguilla. The Centre offers Counselling Services by Appointment Only and has now published Positive Living Volume 3. Contact information: 476-3517 or email: marilynb@anguillanet.com. www.facebook.com/axawellnesscentre
