Do you find it difficult to forgive yourself? Well, you are not alone. Many people find it extremely difficult to forgive themselves. In fact, the hardest person to forgive is oneself. Forgiving oneself is one of the more difficult parts of recovery. They made a mistake. They made a bad decision. They hurt someone. They failed someone or something. They killed someone. They have a constant, critical voice in their heads narrating their every move. This makes it difficult to forget and to forgive.
We all mess up sometimes. We all make mistakes. we all do things that, looking back, we wish we could do differently. And all of us have a deep need to free ourselves of the guilt, remorse and regret we feel about the things we have done wrong. So, we must learn how to forgive ourselves if we desire to move forward. It is important to relinquish the source of pain and let go of resentment.
You see, unforgiveness tends to bring much bondage into our lives, regardless if it is towards God, others or even ourselves. Regardless of what we have done in our past, it is vital that we confess and forgive ourselves from everything in our past that we are ashamed of. If God chose to forgive and forget our transgressions, then we ought to do the same.
If we continually beat up on ourselves, it is known as false guilt, and is a tool of the evil one to pull us down. If after having asked God for forgiveness, and we still associate ourselves with our sinful past, then we need to change the way we see things because the way we are thinking contradicts what the bible said. That means it does not line up with what God’s Word said. Psalms 103:12, said, “As far as the east is from the west, so far hath God removed our transgressions from us.”
When we associate ourselves with our past failures, after God’s Word has assured us that they have been removed from us, then it shows that we are not really believing what God’s Word is saying. It is time that we make that choice to forgive ourselves, and then align our thinking with what God’s Word says.
If God says it’s removed from us, then we need to take Him at His Word and believe what it says. If we are going to be able to forgive ourselves, we must first adjust our view about God. God is a merciful and forgiving God. He knows, as humans, we will err, and He has made allowance for that by affording us the opportunity to come to him and confess our wrong doings – and make it right with him and our fellowmen.
Psalms 103:10 – 14 states, “He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His loving kindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. Just as a father has compassion on his children, so, the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him. For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust”. So why should we carry what God has already taken from us. It is God’s job to forgive us; it is our job to accept it!
If you are carrying the guilt of the past with you, today is the day to get rid of it. Here are the things you must do:
1. Admit what you did wrong.
2. Repent of the wrong.
3. Do what you can to make it right.
4. Receive God’s forgiveness, and
5. Accept what you did and learn from it.
About the Author: Mrs. Marilyn Hodge owns and operates the Wellness Centre in the Farrington, Anguilla. The Centre offers Counselling Services by Appointment Only and has now published Positive Living Volume 2. Contact information: 476-3517 or email: marilynb@anguillanet.com. www.facebook.com/axawellnesscentre
