Welcome to the third “Gender Corner” article of 2018. The Gender Corner is a bi-weekly column creating thought-provoking and stimulating community discussions about gender matters in Anguilla and around the world. During this Women’s Week 2018, while we’re hearing stories from women locally who have “Pressed for Progress,” we know that women globally are facing tough situations and have stayed determined. This article features one of those stories.
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“Press for Progress” is the theme for this years’ International Women’s Day on March 8. Those three words, PRESS FOR PROGRESS, speak to what women should be doing and to what we have been doing since the beginning of creation. Despite hardships that range the gamut, women have found creative ways to solve personal, community and global problems. In our unique situations we have strived for greatness in the easy times, the difficult times and the “unbearable how will I survive” times. There is an internal fortitude that exists in everyone of us that allows us to keep pressing.
In this column, I want to share the prologue of a soon-to-be released memoir titled “Woman Without An Identity.” The author, Martine Kalaw, is a former colleague of mine and a true inspirational woman. She was born in Zambia, Africa, lived in the Democratic Republic of the Congo and immigrated to the United States at age 4. Her story is one of finding identity, overcoming abuse, asserting authority and realizing her dreams. Here is a glimpse of the prologue to her memoir:
“I was subhuman. The grime you carry under your shoes after trudging through streets. At least that’s what they meant when they referred to me as an illegal alien. They being the immigration court and the judge who loathed me and I him. And she referred to me as a nobody. My mother. She was my lifeline and verification that I was a person. When she died so did my identity—and all I was left with were unanswered questions amplified in a courtroom. Was my name really Martine? Where did I come from? Who were my mother and father?
Thirteen years undocumented. Seven years in deportation procedures. My legal nightmare was cunning; while I thought I was battling the judge, I was pitted against my mother, and sometimes my own attorney would attack me.
Life had become a twisted game of Russian Roulette. Oftentimes, it wasn’t me but my opponent who’d place the muzzle against my head. Click. No bang. Every time that trigger was pulled, I was sure that was it. Life was over. But again click! No bang. Click! No bang. I kept waiting for the trigger to go off, and at one point, I wished the damned thing went off already. Sssss! Ssss! of the cylinder spinning went on for years, replacing self-love with self-defense and cold laughter to drown out that whirring noise.
But one day LinkedIn delivered a countershock to my misery, reviving the connection between my dead father and me like a defibrillator awakening a non-beating heart. He sought me while I searched for my identity, which plunged me into the depths of Africa. He gave me access to a part of my mother I needed to become complete. Rather than an expedition, this was an exorcism of the past, conjuring up the ghosts of my parents from their youth.
What I would encounter in this reunion in Africa would be unimaginable, leaving me changed, but silencing the trigger. This time forever. The heaviness of my history no longer defined me or outweighed the serendipities sprinkled throughout my life, making it easier to go back home, to America.”
You can pre-order the book “Woman Without an Identity” from March 12 – April 12 by visiting this link: https://publishizer.com/woman-without-an-identity/. To learn more about the author, Martine Mwanj Kalaw, and her story, please visit www.martinekalaw.com.
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If you’d like to contribute to The Gender Corner or would like a particular topic addressed, feel free to email Dr. Ronya Foy Connor, Gender Development Coordinator, Ministry of Social Development at Ronya.Foy-Connor@gov.ai or call at (264) 497-3042 or (264) 497-3930.
