We seem to be living in a world today where telling the truth seems outdated or unpopular. People seem no longer interested in telling the truth or wanting to hear the truth anymore. Once upon a time, we were encouraged to speak the truth. We were even taught the saying in school – “Be the matter what it may, always speak the truth”. Our parents and elders insisted that the truth be told at all times. They would lash us as children if we were caught telling lies. That’s how serious it was. Telling the truth was just a big thing in the old days. Is that not so? Was it not the same in your country?
Well, what has gone wrong? Why has that changed? Why is it difficult for us to tell the truth? Why is it difficult for us, wanting the truth be told? Why is it difficult for us hearing the truth? Is telling the truth not important any longer? What will it cost us to tell the truth? We need to be careful of deceiving ourselves and others. We need to be careful of the lessons we are teaching our children and the youngsters amongst us. We need to be careful of the messages we are sending to the world. Nothing built on lies and deceit will ever stand. Let us not be deluded into thinking we can keep up the charade, and keep on lying over, and over and it will not have serious repercussions. Lies always catch up with us in the end.
Lying is wrong. To encourage lies is also wrong. Here are some reasons why lying, though it may seem an easy way out in the short run, is a really bad idea in every context:
• Once people catch on, and they will eventually, it will be a long, uphill battle to regain their trust.
• Lying in any form takes a tremendous amount of energy to keep stories straight. Lying beats at the conscience. It robs your mind of peace.
• Perhaps, most importantly, you run the great risk of losing yourself. Tell lies long enough and you will grow confused between what’s real and what’s the story.
The worst thing that can happen when we dissemble the truth in any fashion is to get away with it. You see, lying often gets worse with the passage of time. When a person gets away with a lie it often impels him or her to continue with his/her deceptions. Also, liars often find themselves perpetrating more untruths to cover themselves. They often weave a tangled web in the process. When a person lies, he/she has broken a bond. Serious deception often makes it impossible for others to trust him/her. Because the issue of trust is on the line, coming clean about the lie as soon as possible is the best way to mend fences and move forward.
As a society, the most important message we can send to our children about lying is that we always want them to come clean with us. No matter how big a lie they have told, we need to insist upon them that we would always rather hear the truth, no matter how bad it is, than be deceived. There is really nothing more sacred in relationships than our trust of each other. We, the adults, need to set that example and send that message loud and clear at all times. Covering up lies and deception are not the answer. They will never solve our problems but rather make our problems worse.
If we want to see a change in our society, it is vital for us to come clean with each other. If indeed we desire to see our island prosper, we need to practice truthfulness. If we are to emulate the character of God, truth telling is critical in order for our society to flourish. It is essential for authentic communication to occur, and makes genuine interaction between us possible. Just imagine what it would be like living in a society in which no one expected the truth. How could a person discern what is accurate and what is a falsehood? On what basis could a person make important decisions if there was no expectation of the truth? Life would be chaotic without the norm of honesty.
If indeed our desire is to have a prosperous country, we need to build it on the bedrock of honesty. Truth telling builds trust and civil cooperation among human beings. Trust is critical for a prosperous society, and being a person of one’s word establishes trust and trustworthiness. The Bible made reference to that over and over again. The Mosaic Law underscored this, in Deuteronomy 25:15, connecting honest dealings with Israel’s prosperity in the land. “You shall have only a full and honest weight; you shall have only a full and honest measure, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” (See also Leviticus 19:36.) Similarly, Proverbs brings out the connection between trustworthiness and social harmony. Proverbs 3:29 emphasizes that trust among neighbours is what enables them to live in peace, not fearing harm from one’s neighbour. Further, Proverbs emphasizes that trustworthiness brings healing to both relationships and communities (Proverbs 13:17, 25:13). Honest dealings and trustworthiness are critical for a properly functioning system.
Truth telling treats people with dignity. To tell someone the truth is a measure of respect. The Scriptures illustrate this with the Genesis account of Jacob and his service to Laban (Genesis 29-30). Jacob works seven years for the right to marry Rachel and after the years of service are complete, Laban deceives Jacob and substitutes his less desirable daughter Leah as Jacob’s bride. Jacob is justifiably outraged at being deceived and treated with such disrespect (Genesis 29:25). Jacob returns the disrespect to Laban, in Genesis 30, when he deceives Laban with respect to the flocks that Jacob is tending for Laban, separating out the stronger flocks for himself and leaving the weaker ones for Laban (Genesis 30:42).
Similarly, in 2 Kings 12, when it came to the money for the repair of the temple, there were certain workmen who were so trustworthy that the overseers of the repairs did not need an accounting of the money they spent for the repairs. Because they were honest, they were treated with dignity and trust by the king and by the priests in charge of temple repair. (See also 2 Kings 22:7.) This is also borne out by the proverb that warns a person: “Well meant are the wounds a friend inflicts, but profuse are the kisses of an enemy” (Proverbs 27:6). The enemy who multiplies kisses is the one who showers a person with false flattery, deceiving the person into the illusion of friendship and trust when, in reality, he is the enemy. Here, deception treats the person being deceived as a pawn to be manipulated for the deceiver’s own selfish purposes, not as someone with dignity who is deserving of respect. Disrespect also comes through in, “A lying tongue hates its victims; and a flattering mouth works ruin” (Proverbs 26:28; also Proverbs 26:18-19, 24, 26).
You see, a society that is built on truth will run right. It will be functional. If a society is built on lies and deception it will be dysfunctional. People have a right to hear the truth. The right of a person to make his or her own autonomous decisions is based on having accurate information, so much so that people often and understandably feel violated and disrespected when they are deceived. A person’s autonomy is weakened when he/she is deceived. This is evident in the example of Jacob and Laban. Jacob’s autonomy to marry the woman of his choice was completely undermined by Laban’s deception, since Jacob would never have married Leah if left entirely to his own choice (Genesis 29:17-20). It is further evident in Jacob’s reciprocal deception of Laban, since Laban would not have managed the flocks to his obvious financial disadvantage had he not been deceived so effectively by Jacob (Genesis 30:42-43).
Leaders must govern with integrity if they want the nation to be prosperous. Samuel was indeed a true leader. Samuel’s relationship with Israel, as a judge, compelled him to tell the truth to his nation. In his farewell speech, in his old age, he was able to say in front of the nation of Israel: “I am old and gray… I have been your leader from my youth until this day. Here I stand. Testify against me in the presence of the LORD and his anointed. Whose ox have I taken? Whose donkey have I taken? Whom have I cheated? Whom have I oppressed? From whose hand have I accepted a bribe to make me shut my eyes? If I have done any of these things, I will make it right.” And we are told that the people replied by saying, “You have not cheated or oppressed us…You have not taken anything from anyone’s hand” (1 Samuel 12).
Samuel’s greatness was built not only on him being able to hear God, but on his ability to speak the truth no matter how hard it was. The scripture states:
And the Lord said to Samuel: “See, I am about to do something in Israel that will make the ears of everyone who hears about it tingle. At that time I will carry out against Eli everything I spoke against his family – from beginning to end. For I told him that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons blasphemed God, and he failed to restrain them. Therefore I swore to the house of Eli, ‘the guilt of Eli’s house will never be atoned for by sacrifice or offering.’” (1 Samuel 3:11-14).
Samuel was afraid to tell Eli the vision but he did. He told him everything, hiding nothing from him. Samuel’s habit was to tell God’s truth. This habit of telling God’s truth seems to be the hallmark of his life. In 7:15, 16 we read, “Samuel continued as Israel’s leader all the days of his life. From year to year he went on a circuit from Bethel to Gilgal to Mizpah, judging Israel in all those places.” He was a judge who plainly told God’s moral requirements to Israel and guided them in what is right and wrong.
When Israel decided they wanted a king, and Samuel felt that they had rejected him, God told Samuel that the people were really rejecting him and told Samuel to warn the people of the consequences of their desires. Here again, Samuel told all the words of the LORD to the people who were asking him for a king. Later on, Samuel told the king, “You have done a foolish thing”, “You have not kept the command the LORD your God gave you; if you had, he would have established your kingdom over Israel for all time. But now your kingdom will not endure; the LORD has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him ruler of his people, because you have not kept the LORD’s command.” Samuel always told the truth of God’s word, even to the king. So, it’s not surprising that even after Samuel had died – when Saul was panicking, he called a medium to summon the spirit of Samuel to find out what God’s will was.
Telling the truth is important my friends. We each need to hear it as individuals and we need to hear it as a nation, just like the nation of Israel needed to hear the truth. Telling truth requires moral courage. Telling the truth is scary. That is why we read that Samuel was afraid to tell Eli the truth. Perhaps he was afraid because what God told him about Eli and his sons was bad news and he loved Eli. How could he tell such bad news to Eli even if it was the truth? Not only could the truth hurt Eli, it could hurt Samuel himself.
Telling people what God thinks about a certain situation, or topic, can be unpopular. It is hard to do. Because of this, it is easy to stay silent and say nothing. It takes courage to speak. However, speaking the truth is a must because lies and deception are costly. They have consequences. Therefore, as we move forward into this New Year, let us endeavour from this day forward to build our individual lives, homes, villages, communities and country on truth coupled with love and respect for each other. Thus living out the words of our National Song – let truth and right our banner be, we march ever on!
Have a blessed 2017.
About the Author: Mrs. Marilyn Hodge owns and operates the Wellness Centre in the Farrington, Anguilla. The Centre offers Counselling Services by Appointment Only and has now published Positive Living Volume 2. Contact information: 476-3517 or email:marilynb@anguillanet.com. www.facebook.com/axawellnesscentre