Becoming a parent is a very exciting, overwhelming and truly joyous occasion. Parenthood exposes couples to a new aspect of life that produces opportunities, challenges and responsibilities. As a couple, you should decide whether you are ready to take on such roles. Preparedness is key.
Here are four questions you should ask:
1. ARE WE PHYSICALLY MATURE AND HEALTHY ENOUGH?
A female’s reproductive system must be developed enough to become pregnant. When a female begins to menstruate, it is the first sign that she can become pregnant. However, her body may not be strong enough to carry a baby full term or be able to endure the labour and birthing period. Pregnancy between the ages of 12-18 years in women can cause serious complications for her and the unborn baby. Some medical complications (not subjected to young mothers only) include:
i. Pregnancy- induced hypertension
ii. Premature Delivery
iii. Anemia (increased iron deficiency)
iv. Low birth weight
One reason for these complications – with regard to age – is that teenagers tend to have more unhealthy lifestyles than older and more mature persons.
Generally, it is best to discuss with your doctor important topics such as:
i. Keeping your weight in check. It helps to maintain your libido (sex drive) especially in men
ii. Having a balanced diet
iii. Removing cigarettes, alcohol and any other harmful substances from you diet
iv. Investigating and identifying health issues ( STDs, genetic diseases and deficiencies)
v. Deciding whether or not to continue with prescription drugs and medically prescribed practices
The most important factor that couples should include in being physically mature and healthy is striving to maintain a positive and stress-free lifestyle.
2. ARE WE PSYCHOLOGICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY READY?
A newborn baby is entirely dependent on its parents to provide essential needs 24 hours a day. As time progresses, the baby will start to develop a sense of independence as he or she grows , and that aspect of providing undivided attention changes. But, through each stage of human growth and development, parents’ emotional state and maturity will be challenged.
As potential parents you will experience broken sleeping patterns, higher levels of anxiety and less quality time being spent on yourself and with your spouse. Mental strain cannot be avoided. Couples should ensure that they are prepared to sacrifice their “normal lifestyles” for the woes of parenthood. Proper time management is one solution that helps in minimizing psychological and emotional strain.
3. DO WE HAVE ADEQUATE FINANCIAL RESOURCES?
Being financially ready is important because parents have to meet the basic economic needs of a child: food, clothing and shelter. They will need to consider expenditure for medical reasons such as regular doctor visits and labour. You may also want to invest in medical and life insurance as a family.
Domestic arrangements, such as preparing a room at home to accommodate your child, are also an essential factor in knowing if you are financially equipped.
As a couple you may also want to list your short and long term goals, and apply a cost to each goal. You may want to go to college or send your children off to school, own your business, buy a car or build a house. Do you have a job? Are you the breadwinner? Can your current income support your family? All of these things should be considered.
4. HOW AND WHERE DO WE OBTAIN THE KNOWLEDGE TO PREPARE US FOR PARENTHOOD?
Obtaining knowledge is easy. First, you should put what you have learnt as individuals growing up in your community to practice. It is a key factor in becoming an effective parent and positive role model for your children. Idioms, such as “Spare the rod, spoil the child,” is one biblical disciplinarian approach that many couples continue to practise.
Couples should not be afraid to ask questions. Your family and friends who have already experienced parenthood are useful when you have probing questions to ask. The anxiety of parenthood may come all at once, but family and friends are always helpful and ready to lend a hand when needed.
There are also family planning institutions that cater to preparing for parenthood. They share important safety measures and procedures that should be utilized by families. If you are a religious couple, you can even consult with your religious leaders such as your pastor or bishop. There are also unending books and websites packed with information that can help to educate you on parenthood.Two very informative reads for new parents are:
i. What To Expect When Expecting by Heidi Murkoff ( For Mothers)
ii. The Pregnancy Book For Men: From Dude To Dad in 40 Short Weeks by Gerard Janssen( For Fathers)
Whether you are a couple planning for your 1st, 2nd or 3rd baby or you are a young couple that’s already pregnant, parenthood is not the end of the world. You will not be the first parents that will feel like everything is going wrong. Remember to enjoy this joyous moment!
– Contributed
