Have you ever prayed and felt at times that your prayers went unanswered? If so, have you ever wondered why? Well, you are not alone. You are not the first person to have prayers go unanswered. Many people have struggled and are still struggling with the issue of unanswered prayer. They usually lament, “If there is a God, if he really does answer prayer, why doesn’t he answer my prayers?” Does that sound familiar? Are you thinking or saying the same? What are some of those unanswered prayers you are struggling or wrestling with at the moment?
People with unanswered prayers span the century. There are people who bear hidden scars from the pain of prayers that were not answered. They remember times when they prayed, really prayed, said all the right words, with all the right motives, even asked their friends to join them in prayer, deeply believing that only God could help them out – and after they prayed, and waited, God never seemed to answer their prayers. This caused many people to lose their trust and faith in God. It even caused some to turn away from following him. There are also many good, devout people who still secretly doubt that God answers prayer. They doubt it, for when it really counted, God did not come through for them. So in their heart, deep in the inner recesses of their soul, hidden behind a smiling face, rests a profound disenchantment with the Almighty.
The Bible too is filled with stories of men and women who experienced unanswered prayers. They prayed to God in the moment of crisis, and God for reasons sometimes explained, and more often not-explained, did not answer their prayers. The fact is, however, God hears and answers all prayers. When it comes to God answering our prayers, it often seems that if we do not hear the answer we want to hear, we conclude that it was no answer at all. But, believe it or not, God always answer our prayers. He does it in His own way and in His own time. His answer usually comes in the form of either yes, no or wait. His answer to our requests can also be: “Go slow,” “Grow,” or “Let go.” Therefore we need to become conscious of that.
Firstly, when we pray and the request is wrong, God in His wisdom will always say “No” to our request because sometimes we make requests that are patently materialistic, shortsighted, and immature. God loves us too much to say yes to wrong requests. And you would not want Him to do anything less. Many times by hindsight we can only thank God for saying “No” to those prayers. So, if perchance you have been praying diligently about a matter, and if you have sensed resistance from heaven, it is wise for you to review your request, or modify it, or lay it to rest, or let it go. Your request may be the problem. Maybe the request is an unwillingness on your part to face a real issue. Maybe the request is destructive in ways you don’t understand. Maybe the request is shortsighted. Maybe the request is too small, or God might have something better in mind. Sometimes God’s “No” is better than his “Yes”.
Secondly, if the timing is wrong, God will say, “Slow, go slow”. The child in all of us still wants God to meet every need, to grant every request, to move every mountain. Whenever we want Him it is usually “Now!” But God in His wisdom knows what is best for us and sometimes all He is saying is “not yet”. He is not intimidated by our childish fixation on instant gratification. It is essential for us to understand that God’s delays are not necessarily God’s denials. It is important for us to understand that often God isn’t saying no – he is merely saying, “Not quite yet. Trust me. I know what I’m doing. I have my reasons”. Isaiah 55 states, His ways are higher than our ways. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. Therefore we need to patiently wait on Him and trust Him to do things in His time.
Thirdly, God has His reasons for His “Not yets”. Among them are the possibility of us developing character, endurance, trust, patience, or submission, while He is orchestrating the timing of the answer to our prayers. As human beings we tend to be much more concerned about comfort and convenience than we are about building character through patiently waiting on and trusting in God’s timing. God is more concerned about character than he is about instant gratification and personal convenience. And sometimes the prayers that are sweetest to have answered are the ones that we have trusted to God for a long, long time.
Sometimes when our prayers seem unanswered it is because we are in the wrong. We need to stop and ask ourselves, “Is it because of Me?” You see, it is usually easier for us to point our finger of accusation at God than it is for us to look in the mirror and take a spiritual inventory and say, “Maybe it’s me”. Psalm 66:18 says if we regard sin in our hearts, in other words, if we are leading a life of disobedience to God, the Lord will not hear our prayers. Matthew 5:23-24 warns that if there is relational discord, if there are private wars going on between people, if there are broken friendships, Jesus says it cuts us off from close fellowship with God. He continues in that passage by saying, “Drop everything and attempt to reconcile those relationships. Then go back to the altar and worship and pray.” We need to make things right before our prayers can be answered. God desires our obedience.
Sometimes our prayers are not answered because God can do more through us by not answering our prayers than He can by answering them. Think about it for a minute – what do you think would happen if God answered all our prayers all the time, in the exact manner in which we prayed? Would that produce spiritual maturity in our lives? I think not. If God always answered our prayers eventually our trust would be in the answers and not in the Lord alone.
But when God says no, we are forced to decide whether we will still trust in Him alone without the benefit of an answered prayer to lean upon. Perhaps, if all of our prayers were answered, we would end up taking God for granted. Therefore, unanswered prayer forces us to put our trust in God alone. And when we do, he alone gets the glory, for it is at that point that His strength is made perfect in our weakness.
For example, the story of an unanswered prayer that should encourage us is the account of Paul’s unanswered prayer in 2 Corinthians 12. In that passage Paul reveals that fourteen years earlier he had been caught up into heaven and had seen things that no mortal man had ever seen before. It was the greatest experience of his life, and he never forgot what it was like. But when that great experience was over, something else happened to Paul that would change his whole perspective on life. In his own words: “To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me” (2 Corinthians 12:7). He stated, three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me” (v. 8).
He prayed about this need in his life and found that God did not, would not, answer his prayers. He desperately begged God over and over again to answer a very specific prayer, and God said no. This should teach us several important principles:
1. Unanswered prayer sometimes happens to the very best of us.
2. When it happens, it is humanly unexplainable.
3 When it happens, God has a higher purpose in mind.
In Paul’s case he kept on praying until God finally gave him an explanation. “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness’” (v. 9). You see, most concentrated times of spiritual growth have come as a result of my trials in our lives. A British journalist, Malcolm Muggeridge, summarized it this way in an interview with William F. Buckley, when he was an old man looking back on his life:
“As an old man, Bill, looking back on one’s life, it’s one of the things that strikes you most forcibly – that the only thing that’s taught one anything, is suffering. Not success, not happiness, not anything like that. The only thing that really teaches one what life is about – the joy of understanding, the joy of coming in contact with what life really signifies – is suffering, affliction.” Like the Apostle Paul, we grow best in the darkness of pain, sadness and despair. We learn many things in the sunlight, but we grow best in the darkness. It is a great advance in spiritual understanding to be able to say, “I got nothing I asked for, but everything I had hoped for.” And to say like Job, “Though He Slay Me, yet will I trust Him.”
We need to accept the fact that sometimes our prayers will go unanswered. Unless we admit and accept that fact, and deal with it, we will probably give up prayer altogether and eventually turn our backs on God. God hears every prayer, even the ones he chooses not to answer. No prayer is entirely wasted, for even unanswered prayer may be used by God to draw us closer to him. Hence when we pray, we should not focus exclusively on the answers, but rather on God. Think upon the life of Job. He lost his home, his fortune, his children, his health, and his reputation. All that he counted dear was taken away from him. When he finally hit the bottom, filled with anger and wishing that he were dead, he uttered these words of faith: “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him” (Job 13:15). It is as if he is saying to God, “You can take my life, but you can’t make me stop trusting in you.” Yes, there is a note of belligerent defiance in those words – and yes, Job wasn’t too happy about what God had done to him. And yes, he wanted his day in court. But underneath the anger and searing pain was a bedrock faith in God. “I don’t understand this at all, but I’m hanging on to you, Lord, and I’m not going to let go.”
That’s the place to which God wants to bring us. Sometimes unanswered prayer is the only way to get us there. Therefore, here is what you need to do when you think your prayers are unanswered:
1. Keep on praying as long as you can.
2. Give God the right to say no. Let God be God in your life. He cannot be manipulated or coerced.
3. Keep on doing what you know to be right. In the darkness of unanswered prayer, you may be tempted to give up on God. You may feel like throwing in the towel and checking out of the Christian life. But what good will that do? If you turn away from God, where will you go?
4. Remember God does not make mistakes.
Here is a poem by A. M. Overton that should encourage us:
He Maketh No Mistake
My Father’s way may twist and turn,
My heart may throb and ache
But in my soul I’m glad I know,
He maketh no mistake.
My cherished plans may go astray,
My hopes may fade away,
But still I’ll trust my Lord to lead
For He doth know the way.
Tho’ night be dark and it may seem
That day will never break,
I’ll pin my faith, my all in him,
He maketh no mistake.
There’s so much now I cannot see,
My eyesight’s far too dim;
But come what may, I’ll simply trust
And leave it all to him.
For by and by the mist will lift
And plain it all he’ll make,
Through all the way, tho’ dark to me,
He made not one mistake.
This article is dedicated in loving memory of my granddaughter: Keonna Arielle Busby to mark one year since her passing – (26th August 2014). May she continue to rest in peace!
About the Author: Mrs. Marilyn Hodge owns and operates the Wellness Centre in the Farrington, Anguilla. The Centre offers Counselling Services by Appointment Only. Contact information: 476-3517 or email: marilynb@anguillanet.com.
