Welcome to the tenth 2015 column of “The Gender Corner,” published in collaboration with The Anguillian newspaper. This Corner is meant to provide thought-provoking and stimulating discussion on gender-related matters. The goal is to break the silence about a range of issues so that we can start building a positively transformed and visionary society. This week we discuss why it is important to focus on the well-being and encouragement of men and boys as part of the Gender Affairs agenda.
Boys, young men and men are facing many challenges. Many of our boys are coming of age without the support of encouraging male role models either in the home or in the community. Our young men and adult men are confused about the characteristics that make a man into “a man.” They are confusing the outer appearance with the inner man. More weight is now given to the image of gold chains, white tees and oversized jeans, earrings in their ear, or spitting obscene song lyrics from their car speakers. What the outside conveys is more important than what the inner man thinks and feels.
Are there men who believe that “success” in life is not what many typically think of? Are there men that will redefine the culture that we seeing playing out on our streets? Will you show your male counterparts that money, nice cars, bad behaviour and controlling, abusive and explosive attitudes are not what make you a man? It’s about time that we shift these notions before even more destruction is done. Young men, isn’t it about time to redefine for yourself what will make YOU a man? Men, isn’t about time for you to do the same? Does the money you have or the emblem on your ride define you? Is it how many women you seek to control, or the fact that you have a wife and one or two girlfriends ,the key to your “manhood?”
It sounds pretty harsh, right? So much male bashing going around and it seems that I’m just adding fuel to the fire, huh? Well this is one fire that needs more fuel so that it can burn to ashes. These ideas of “masculinity” need to been burned and buried so that the “real men” can step forward and take their place as leading Princes and Kings in our community. It is a fight against the global culture, but do you think we can find a few good men who are willing to take on the charge to shift this toxic culture that now defines the mindset of the majority of boys and men in Anguilla?
I am grateful that Design Anguilla magazine’s issue 11 is “The Men’s Issue.” It is showing us males who are well regarded in various fields of endeavour. Many of them participate in mentorship programs and team building sporting activities that allow them the opportunity to build themselves up and to pour positivity into the lives of other males. I also personally know that they work hard in preparing themselves to be (and in being) excellent fathers, husbands and community leaders. Often times, however, they find it difficult to maintain the heart and strength that it takes to do well against the odds. Most times they have to set their own path and go against the negative influences of popular culture in order to be true to who they were created to be. It is this type of man that is to be respected, regarded and reenergized to continue in this path.
The focus on males is urgent and I am happy to share that during the entire month of June, there will be extended focus on issues concerning men and boys, including Gender Corner articles specifically geared for males. Gender Affairs will also support programmes and gatherings focused on building the resolve of our males to take back their rightful place as pillars in our society. Initiatives include the upcoming “Father and Son Prayer Breakfast” hosted by the Junior Optimists Clubs on 13 June at Da’Vida, in addition to events sponsored by Her Excellency, Governor Christina Scott, CuisinArt Golf Resort and Spa, the Anguilla Community Action Network and Refresh Ministries.
During Men’s Week 2015, 20 June – 27 June, focus will be placed on “Unsung Champions of the Hospitality Sector” as 15 men are applauded for their dedication and success in their professional lives. These men range the gamut in the fields of hospitality and tourism; representing the best of Anguilla and promoting the fact that hard work pays off despite any obstacle threatening achievement.
It is certainly my hope that these men will encourage you whether you are a man, woman, boy or girl. Initiatives such as the Men’s Issue of Design Anguilla Magazine and the upcoming events help us to put a spotlight on men who are trying their best on a daily basis and encourage them to keep charging forward. By being positive role models, they are dispelling the myths of false masculinity that is infiltrating our communities. As we applaud and support these men, we must encourage those who have yet to find their path or calling. We must promote life and holistic prosperity for every male. This is part of the Gender Affairs agenda and I hope that it will become a part of you in whatever capacity you can assist. Let’s start by celebrating Men’s Week all month long!
If you’d like to contribute to The Gender Corner, feel free to email Dr. Ronya Foy Connor, Gender Development Coordinator, Ministry of Home Affairs, The Valley, or to Ronya.Foy-Connor@gov.ai. or call at 497-2518.
