Monday, 23rd March 2015 (North Side, Anguilla) — After publishing my last article (Leading Ladies Striving to Make a Difference), I was asked to be one of the “Women of the Diaspora” speakers on Kool FM 103.3. I was joined by five distinguished ladies including Mrs Jonice Albertha Richardson Louden, Dr Oluwakemi M. Linda Banks, Ms Palmavon (Pam) J. Webster, Mrs Rhona Richardson-Roydon and Ms Simone Harrigan. The six of us reasoned together on the airwaves of the Mayor Show broadcast on Saturday, March 14th. Our talk was about how we as women are instruments of change and things we can do to move ourselves and nation forward.
Several days after the show’s programme – whilst attending an Anguilla Lit Fest Committee meeting – Ms Webster mentioned to me that people in the community were commenting on some of the remarks I’d made on radio. She cited how I spoke of seeking the truth when someone comes to you with gossip or rumours. Pam suggested I continue to write on the topic, so I’m choosing to share more of my deep contemplations in this week’s opinion-editorial.
Truthfulness is a topic that is very dear to my heart, and one that I try to emulate in how I conduct myself in life. Speaking the truth is extremely important as is seeking the truth. Too many times we, as humans, are quick to repeat whatsoever we’re told without thinking first whether what we’ve been told is the truth. Even if we think it is, we need to investigate further before repeating to others what we heard.
Our upbringing impacts our views
I’ve learned how we have preconceived notions based on how we were raised and taught. For example, in my own family whenever something goes missing in the house, we’re quick to point the finger at someone else and emphatically state that person took it. We do this even when we weren’t present when the item went missing.
My mother tells of stories growing up as a child in the Simons Family residence at 110 S Street NW in Washington, DC. When something went missing in my grandparent’s household, they used to blame “Mr Armstrong”. He was a fictitious character (a jumbie, ghost or haunted spirit) who supposedly roamed throughout the house. Saying that “Mr Armstrong did it” was certainly less blameful than calling out one of the siblings’ names or naming another person.
Why do we automatically blame others? I believe it’s out of pure habit, being accustomed to naming the culprit first before investigating the true facts to find out what really happened. We do the same thing when we spread gossip and rumours. We don’t take the time to find out the truth first, but just repeat whatever we’re told.
Words can uplift, inspire or harm
I find the words we say or write can have either an uplifting or inspiring impact, or they can bring us down with a negative vibration. It all depends on the choice of wording and the tone of voice used. For example, I often come home feeling an energy drain because I’ve spent a considerable amount of time in the presence of individuals who are constantly speaking ill of other persons, or they’re complaining about what’s going haywire in their lives.
So I’ve learned the more we talk of positive aspects and show gratitude, the more we attract that positive energy towards ourselves. If we speak words that carry a higher, more positive vibration, then that inspires and uplifts us as well as others.
I don’t think people always realise how the “Laws of Attraction” work in Jah’s universe. What we speak most of we draw to us. The Most High Creator gives us exactly what we have asked for, and sometimes that’s what we don’t want to have in our lives. We must be conscious of our words, thoughts and deeds for they manifest through whatever we place emphasis on.
When someone comes to us with a rumour
Whenever an individual comes to us with rumour or gossip that he or she wants to spread, we must first and foremost ask ourselves, “Do I need to repeat what was said to me?” If we feel it’s necessary to tell someone else what we were told, then go and find out the real facts before opening our mouths to repeat the rumour or gossip that was spoken. Fact finding means having concrete evidence that something is absolutely true. It’s not just based on the hearsay of someone else. I’ll give an example.
The other day a person told me that the Chief Minister had waited to call the date for elections until the Doctor had renounced his US citizenship. As a conscientious journalist, I told the individual that I couldn’t believe the information given was true, unless I’d seen for myself the legal document verifying renunciation. It’s the same when someone comes to me spouting gossip about another person having AIDS or being HIV positive. If I’ve spoken directly with the individual named, or seen actual test results, then there is proof that the person either has or doesn’t have a communicable disease. In either case, there’s no need to share this information with others because it’s a breach of that individual’s confidential medical records and private health history.
Using common sense to determine truth or fiction
I honestly believe if everyone would use common sense, and not be quick to repeat gossip or whatever they’re told, there would be fewer rumours spread throughout our communities. What many folks don’t realise is the serious harm and defamation of character are caused by words spoken and written. Just listen to what is going on in the present day political campaign speeches, and read Keithley Lake & Associates’ articles on The Law & You published previously in The Anguillian.
Another example, I recall from years ago, is that of a dear close friend of mine who was dishonestly accused of abusing a child. The case went to court, and eventually the charges were dismissed when it was proved that he hadn’t abused the child. But, the harm had already been done. The child told a lie, and some persons in the community believed it was true without investigating the facts.
We should never doubt children’s words when they say their bodies have been violated, as this is a serious offence with life changing trauma effects. Yet we must be sure that the individuals who are suspected of performing these heinous acts are actually the ones who did them. In some cases, a girl or boy may name another person because the child is too afraid to actually name the real perpetrator. We must build trust in our children and teach them to speak the truth at all times naming the real persons who commit sexual abuse crimes.
Using words that uplift and inspire
We must learn to use language that is uplifting and inspiring to ourselves as well as to the recipients of our spoken and written words. Even our very own thoughts can create negative vibrations, so we must learn to monitor the word patterns that swirl around inside our heads. They may not be visible to others; however, the Lord can clearly read our minds’ intentions.
Each one of us can be an inspiration, and uplifting to others through our speech and writing. We can be the instruments of change that we envision ourselves to be, doing whatever we can to move our nation forward. May The Most High’s divine grace continue to bless all of our lives and encourage us to be more kind, gentle and loving in the words that we use to express ourselves!
Kay M. Ferguson is a free-spirited writer who composes word sounds to inspire and uplift humanity. She is passionate about sharing her contemplations on various subjects to raise conscious awareness in the Anguilla community and globally. To link with Kay, send an email to anguillawriter@gmail.com or “i-nect” via social media at www.facebook.com/kaymferguson.
