As is the case of most of my patients, it was through an unfortunate event that I met Mrs. Romney. And ironically, I feel the most fortunate now having met her, the rest of her family and having spent so much time at her bedside.
Having been unable to say a few words at her funeral because of other commitments, I now feel obligated to write these few words in recognition of her loving family who stood by her side till the very end of her earthly days.
It is not very often in these times which we now live, for the family members of an elderly bedridden person, with limited resources to keep and care for that person, at home.
While the option is always there to put up your ill and aging relative in a care home, I never, not once, got the impression from you all that that option was even ever considered. And for that I applaud you. Notwithstanding the wonderful care that I have witnessed being given at the senior citizens homes here, having worked very closely with them for over the past five years.
But I’m confident that no stranger can love and care for a family member whom you love better than you can. And that fact was so very evident in the care that Sambu received at her home surrounded by her family and close friends.
You have placed her under my medical care for over the past two years and your deep affection for her was very clear during that time. Hardly two weeks would go by without you calling and asking me to have a look at her, even if there was nothing “wrong” with her most of the time.
Greater was your love for her than the illness she was fighting.
In my career, Sambu was, without a minimum of doubt whatsoever, one of the best loved and taken care of patients I have ever had. And I can only conclude that this has to be a true testament of the life that she lived, and the love she had shown for her family. I pray that the bond and strong affection you have shown for her will continue to bind all of you together. And I trust she would want no less.
Painfully, I have written and signed many death certificates of elderly patients who were under my care. Sadly, on many occasions I would only come to know who the family members are on the very day that I must do the most dreadful thing for any medical practitioner; that of pronouncing his patient as deceased.
This was certainly not your case as I have seen you ALL at her bedside on my many visits to your home.
In your time of grief, I advise you to cry as much and as long as you need to, as that is how your healing process begins. But don’t cry for her. She is now in a better place, and her suffering is over. Therefore, even in the mix of your tears there should be a joy. A Joy in acknowledging the fact that you all did ALL that is humanly possible for her particularly during the time of her illness. A Joy because you all were able to say your goodbyes before she went away peacefully. A Joy, knowing that she was surrounded by her family who loved her very dearly and demonstrated that love for her so MAGNIFICENTLY.
I am sure that she’s looking down on ALL of you right now smiling and blessing you for the unconditional, unwavering and limitless love you have freely given to her.
So take comfort and may God bless you as her soul rests in eternal peace.
Dr. Nicholas Carbon
