Lies! Lies! Lies! Have you ever wondered why people tell lies? What about you? Have you ever told a lie? Speak the truth! Why did you lie? Do you know of anyone who has never told a lie? Everyone has told a lie at some point in his or her life. Don’t you believe that’s true? Well, no matter the reason for telling lies, we know lying is wrong.
You see, as much as there are different types of people in the world, there can also be as many motivations to produce lies. Simply put people tell lies for different reasons. It can be the need to manipulate or control others, or to alter an existing reality that they are unwilling to accept.
Here are some of the common reasons why people develop the tendency to lie:
1. To avoid punishment. When people fear the possibility of rejection, or being punished for something, they lie in order to avoid that from happening.
2. To gain approval. It is human nature to try and find approval from others. When people do not innately possess the kind of self-image that they believe will make them appealing to others, they create it themselves – through lying.
3. To protect privacy. Most people want to control the amount of information that others know about them. Hence, they tend to lie in order to attain the level of independence.
4. To avoid conflict. If there is a possibility that truth could bring about more chaos and destruction, especially for a relationship, then most people lie in order to avoid opening up more related issues.
Think about the last time you told a lie – which one of the above was your reason? Was it to gain approval, to protect your privacy, to avoid punishment or to avoid conflict? Well, no matter which one it was, lying is always wrong.
Would you like to know if someone is lying to you? Well there are ways to tell if someone is lying by reading his or her body language.
The most effective ways to tell if someone is lying is not entirely through what is said. Instead, body gestures and non-verbal actions can often expose someone.
According to research findings, here are some techniques that have been recognized by experts to detect whether someone is telling the truth:
1. Observe how a person smiles when you are talking to him or her. Forced smiles can be detected with only the motion of the muscles surrounding the mouth. Also, you can tell if he or she is trying to cover up as he or she appears to be over relaxed.
2. Take note of the motion of the hands, legs, and arms. You might find these movements to be more self-directed as opposed to moving freely on their own.
3. Notice his or her eyes. Is He or she capable of making eye contact? Where are his or her eyes fixed when talking? If they seem to be disassociated towards you, then there is a huge chance he or she is not speaking the truth.
When it comes to verbal communication, there are also valid ways to tell if someone is lying. Mostly, it involves his or her manner of response or how he or she formulates those responses.
1. When you ask him or her a question, he or she responds with another question instead of responding directly to the question given.
2. When he or she does respond, it takes him or her a brief moment of silence to proceed. This indicates that he or she is trying to quickly formulate an effective response.
3. Most liars often stutter or repeat words they have already said. They try hard to infuse humour and sarcasm into the conversation.
4. When he or she attempts to change the subject, then it is a strong indicator that a person is untruthful.
Once you have mastered the ways to tell if someone is lying, then you should be able to estimate whether to believe what he or she is saying or not. It is also wise for you to remember that others will be also watching you to see if you are lying.
Remember the saying – You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.
About the Author: Mrs. Marilyn Hodge owns and operates the Wellness Centre in the Farrington, Anguilla. The Centre offers Counselling Services by Appointment Only. Contact information: 476-3517 or email: marilynb@anguillanet.com. Referrals can also be made directly through the Atlantic Star Center of Medical Excellence, South Hill, Anguilla. By Appointment Only: Tel 497-0765.
