People once believed that bullying only occurs at school and on the playground, but research is now claiming that bullying also occurs at the workplace. Recent studies indicate that people have been bullied at some point in their career, either by a co-worker or a boss — the very person who is responsible for the advancement of the company or organization.
Interestingly, there has been little attention paid to workplace bullying in Anguilla. However, some workers are claiming that they are being bullied, and bullying has made the workplace a living hell. This has resulted in high turnover in the workplace as targets have quit their jobs in frustration or fear because their constant complaints go unnoticed or ignored.
Although peer-to-peer bullying is quite common, bullying can be particularly harmful when the bully is the boss — a person in power. The goal of a bullying leader is to control the people he/she is targeting. To control, the bully mistreats, shames, and tries to humiliate those he/she targets. However, research claims that many times people don’t even realize that their boss is bullying them. Instead, they falsely believe that their boss is just tough or pushes his or her workers to get results when in fact he or she is bullying them. Therefore, it is important for workers to be able to distinguish between a tough boss and a bullying boss, and for them to be able to tell if they are targets of abuse.
Here are some questions you can answer to test yourself to see if your boss is a workplace bully:
1. Does your boss blame you for fabricated “errors”?
2. Are you given unreasonable job demands or goals?
3. Does your boss threaten you with pay cuts or being fired?
4. Does your boss insult you and/or criticize your abilities? Does this happen in front of others?
5. Are you excluded by the boss or given the silent treatment?
6. Does your boss yell, scream, or curse at you?
7. Does your boss inconsistently enforce rules?
8. Does your boss deny or discount your accomplishments and/or take credit for your successes?
9. Does your boss verbally abuse you – humiliate you in front of others – shout, swear or yell at you on a consistent basis, or make offensive jokes at your expense? Make snide remarks or offer unfair criticism about you or your work?
10. Does your boss intimidate you on a regular basis? Intimidating behaviour might include threatening to fire you as a way to maintain power and control. It also can include threatening gestures or threats to harm you physically.
11. Does your boss question your adequacy and your commitment? Bosses question your adequacy by belittling your opinions and ideas. This maybe done in private or in front of others. They also may blame you for problems at work while boasting that their skills are responsible for good outcomes. And they may question your commitment to the job unless you work long hours and sacrifice personal time.
12. Does your boss intrude on your privacy? Sometimes bosses will spy on you or even stalk you. They also may listen in on your private conversations, open your mail and go so far as to tamper with your personal belongings or your work equipment.
13. Does your boss undermine your work? Bosses who bully set unrealistic deadlines that are bound to cause failure. They change project guidelines on a regular basis causing extra work and increasing the chance for failure. They also withhold necessary information in order to cause failure, and sabotage your success by making your work late or incomplete. Refusing to sign off on projects or refusing to provide needed feedback are other tactics used to undermine work.
14. Does your boss impede your success? Bullies don’t want to see you succeed because they will lose control over you. As a result, they may punish you for mistakes that are not yours, or bring up past mistakes in order to shift blame during a discussion. They also may make it impossible for you to apply for promotion, a transfer or additional training. They may even over-control or micromanage your work or projects.
15. Does your boss spread rumors about you? Bullies often go to great lengths to make others look bad. As a result, they may gossip with others about your work, your appearance, your health or your personal life.
16. Does your boss isolate you at work? Bullying bosses might exclude you from work related activities, such as workshops, meetings or social events. They also may schedule meetings when they know you have a conflict in your schedule. And they may go so far as refusing to allow you to attend work-related meetings, seminars or conferences.
If your answer is “yes” for more than one of those questions, you are a target of bullying. If you are experiencing any of these abuses, it’s important to recognize that this is workplace bullying and it is not a normal part of any workplace environment. Repetitive verbal abuse, exploitation, micromanagement and other activities that repeatedly demean you, or are discourteous, will eventually take a toll on you.
Learning to recognize bullying will help you learn not to blame yourself for someone else’s behaviour. Additionally, you will be less likely to take responsibility for something that isn’t your fault. Remember, bullying doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. Instead, bullying is a choice that is made by the bully.
It is important that you keep the situation in perspective and don’t let it affect your self-esteem or health. Find outside support for what you are experiencing, and look for options for your situation whether it is reporting your boss, filing a complaint, getting outside counseling or, if necessary, obtaining legal advice.
Remember: Bullying never has to do with you. It’s the bully who’s insecure. One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.
About the Author: Mrs. Marilyn Hodge owns and operates the Wellness Centre in the Farrington, Anguilla. The Centre offers Counselling Services by Appointment Only. Contact information: 476-3517 or email: marilynb@anguillanet.com. Referrals can also be made directly through the Atlantic Star Center of Medical Excellence, South Hill, Anguilla. By Appointment Only: Tel 497-0765
