“Do you love me?” Thousands of people have asked that question of someone in the past and no doubt quite a lot still are asking it today. Jesus too asked that question of Peter. What about you? Have you ever asked anyone that question or even wondered the answer to that question about someone in your life? Well, there is just something about love. What is it? Why do people seem to care or even be concerned if they are loved by others?
Well, love is what we live for and is truly the most important thing in our lives. Whether it is a person in high authority, a person who lives on the street, a person who is rich or poor, employed or unemployed, married or single, young or old, everyone craves to be loved. The need for affection in human beings is unique in the sense that we are a social species who require a certain degree of contact with other human beings.
Research shows that when we share love with others, it makes us feel more loved. This is caused by a chemical reaction in our brain. Whenever we smile, hug, or hold hands with a loved one, we are releasing the chemical oxytocin which allows us the ability to connect with others on a very compassionate level. In addition, some research suggests that our first love experience shapes the way we look at love for the rest of our lives, or at least heavily influences it.
It is our very nature to love. We were born to love and be loved. Love gives deeper meaning to everything in life. We feel most alive when we feel loved. Though there is no definition to describe this unique feeling of love, it is characterized by a sense of attachment and affection towards somebody or something. So strong is the feeling that it is said that it makes the world go around. If you are still wondering why is love so important in our lives, the answer is that it satisfies the emotional needs of human beings. Research further states that human beings cannot live without it. It is this feeling of love which is responsible for the existence and maintenance of the society as well. If we want our society to thrive and grow, we need to inject love into it. We need to love self and others.
The solution to all of our societal and relationship problems therefore is love. If human beings really and truly love themselves and others, there would be no crime and violence, no world hunger, no abandonment issues, no divorces, no war – just think about it. Love conquers all. There is no problem that love cannot solve. The real mark of greatness is shown through love’s actions of kindness, compassion, helpfulness, and caring. If you feel this in your heart, you are on the right path. If you have love in your heart and let it live there, you will be able to motivate, guide, heal, and influence yourself and others.
My friends, love is a tremendously powerful force. It has the ability to awaken, transform, and bring healing. Through love we receive understanding, mercy, joy, and forgiveness. Through love most of all our emotional needs are met. Through love we feel worthy and valid. Through love we serve a higher purpose and unite in a higher calling. We feel happy. Through love we find our sense of belonging. It may not come through the form of family, but through others who are close to us and who care about us.
We operate best when we move through our days with love and goodwill which allow us to release fear, hurt feelings, and negativity. Only through the power of love do we truly feel we are not alone and that all is well. Love gives deeper meaning to everything in life. Love is worth our time, focus, and effort. So next time when someone asks you that question – do you love me, please take the question seriously and find out what is it that person is really seeking. Ask yourself these questions:
1. Am I Looking or Just Seeing? Sight without the thirst to behold is meaningless. In a relationship, we might think we are looking, but often we are not “seeing” the real person. Rather, we are seeing our own mental construct of the person or people in our lives – seeing what makes that person worthy of love.
2. Am I Listening or Just Hearing? What a relief it is to hear someone say, “I hear you”. It means the message has been sent. Actively listen so you will hear what the person is saying. This will make the person feel valued and special.
3. Am I Discussing or Just Talking? If all you are doing is talking, then what you are doing is useless. Who are you indulging? Your beloved or you?
4. Am I Feeling or Just Touching? Physical caresses do not mean anything if there is no real feeling behind them. The act of giving the person a hug or kiss means much more. It makes the person feel worthwhile. That is the point, after all, of loving.
Everyone says that loves hurts, but that’s not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts! Everyone confuses these things with love but in reality, love is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain and makes us feel wonderful again.
If you have difficulties loving yourself and others, here is a prayer you can use in asking for help with love:
Dear Divine Love, help me to love, to live courageously and powerfully with love, with a heart ready to pour love to myself and others.
Help me to love freely without condition or requirement of receiving. Help me to respond to those in need even when I don’t see it. Help me to give them love even if through a smile or a simple word or thought.
Help me to make a better world through my love. Help me to care and to grow more caring and to carry love in my heart and show love in my actions in how I treat others and how I allow them to treat me.
Help me to be cleansed of all reluctance to love: of bitterness, fear of hurt, and memory of hurt. Let Love wash over me and clean me of all that is holding me back. I want to love! Help me to remember this. I want to live in a world where I’m alive with love, compassion, and caring regardless of harsh or uncaring conditions surrounding me or others.
Help me to break free into forgiveness of all things past and present. Help me to move past all misgivings and unfair treatment I have received or given.
Help me to rise to the bold, brave, beautiful occasion to love every day and to love as many people as I can. And to forgive myself when I fail.
Help me to rise above criticism and judgment as well as all that would prevent me from my right to love.
Help me to be the person I came here to be, one of bold love, light, and up-liftment to myself and all who I meet.
Help me to remember that every person I encounter needs and deserves love and lives for love as I do.
Help me to remember to bring them my love and care so together we move past acting as though we don’t matter to each other or that we live alone within our world, separate from each other.
Help me to create bridges of love to others and to take a moment to love strangers, nations, friends, neighbours, and family – and especially when I disagree with them.
Help me to live a life of love. Help me to be blessed by love and to share the blessing with others.
Help me to remember that there is nothing more important in my life than to love. Please stay in my heart, and allow love to be more dominant than anger, a bad mood, resentment, or apathy. Please move me to loving action and free me of not responding to the importance of showing and giving love to others. Amen
Unknown Author.
Remember: Love is the greatest gift of all. Happy Valentine’s Day!
About the Author: Mrs. Marilyn Hodge owns and operates the Wellness Centre in the Farrington, Anguilla. The Centre offers Counselling Services by Appointment Only. Contact information: 476-3517 or email: marilynb@anguillanet.com. Referrals can also be made directly through the Atlantic Star Center of Medical Excellence, South Hill, Anguilla. By Appointment Only: Tel 497-0765
