Tuesday, 25th June 2013 (North Side, Anguilla)—On Father’s Day, celebrated this year on Sunday, 16th June, I attended service at my regular place of worship, Bethel Methodist Church in South Hill. I wanted to be sure to be in the House of the Lord worshipping, giving praises and thanks to my heavenly Father, as well as my earthly father the man, who along with my mother, helped to procreate me. One of the things I love about being on Anguilla for these two honouring days is that all of the local churches have special celebrations and services giving public recognition to fathers and mothers in our community.
In our everyday lives, we are forever remembering to honour the women, yet oftentimes we forget to give credit and praise to the men. So I am writing this article to BIG UP (show appreciation for) the men who are fathers, though I am not forgetting to mention the women who are mothers too.
This year I was not able to be present with my dad to honour him on Father’s Day. However, little did I know that I would be inspired to write about my own father, and other fathers, after listening to Reverend Erica Carty preach Sunday’s sermon. Her homily reminded me of how blessed I am to have the father I have been given. The Minister spoke of God’s Word that refers to the responsibility of fathers. And the words addressed to the members, visitors and radio audience of Bethel were a reminder to us of God who is the All Pervasive Father who steers and guides our lives.
Pastor Erica is a dynamic speaker who I believe set the congregation on “fyr’aah”, lighting a match, igniting a spark and starting a fire of Christian conscious awareness to awaken men to the responsibilities of fatherhood. Minister Carty didn’t speak merely to the men. She also addressed her remarks to the women and children. Her spoken words awakened in us a new awareness of the responsibility that God has given men to carry out their duties as fathers. She told us that it’s not just about what we as a society, or as individuals, perceive fathers ought to be, but what is written in the Good Book (the Bible).
Sometimes we are quick to blame men for not being “good fathers” or not playing the father role properly. But do we ever stop to think that may be the men did not have good father figures to serve as role models growing up, or that other circumstances in their lives have held them back from being the kind of fathers whom they would like to be? Sometimes men don’t have the support network to help groom them to be the men and fathers we want them to be.
Sister Erica spoke about women needing to let men be fathers and allowing them to be an active part of their children’s lives, even if the father and mother are divorced, separated or no longer in a relationship. Now I know how we women can behave when we are upset, angry or just down right plain ol’ mad at the man for his misbehaviour or his not doing what we asked him to do, his not being well acquainted with the truth and his engaging in relations with other women outside of the relationship he has with us. But when we keep a man from seeing and being with his child, we really are not punishing the man. We are causing our daughters and sons to feel neglected or abandoned by their fathers. I believe that what the preacher was telling us is that sometimes we need to get over our own hurts, move out of the way and just let the man be with the child, so he can fulfil his role as a father. That way the child will have the opportunity to know her/his father instead of feeling like an abandoned or fatherless child.
On the other hand, we have numerous prime examples of children amongst us who have been trained well by their fathers as well as their mothers. Nurse Shona Hughes, who served as the liturgist for the Father’s Day service at Bethel Methodist Church, showed us how poised, confident and respectful she is in her behaviour as a youth. I believe that we can attribute this good behaviour and poise of hers to the upbringing she received from parents, teachers and other persons who have served as role models in her life. I am certain that both her mother, Nurse Erdelle Hughes, and father, Mr Jerome Ritchie (aka Kiton), are proud of their daughter and of the skills that she has developed as a well-spoken young liturgist in the Methodist Church of the Caribbean and Americas.
I also want to commend the young men who are the musicians performing every Sunday at Bethel and in other church congregations throughout our communities. They include youths such as Brothers Doyle Hughes, Theron Niles, Remieko Richards and Devaumie Richardson. We must give thanks and praise to the fathers, mothers and other persons who have positively influenced these youths’ lives. And we also give commendation to Sister Lois Hazell-Carbon for the work she has done to help the young people develop their spiritual music talents. She encourages and inspires them to play music with lyrics that are pleasing to the Lord, which counterbalances what we so often hear youths in the secular world listening to nowadays.
There are men in our communities who are good role models as fathers. I would suggest to those men who are not already doing so to take under their wings other men who need coaching on the responsibilities of a father with his child. Each one of us can contribute to helping men become better fathers or to being the best fathers that they can be. Author and national television show host, Steve Harvey, gives us some insight into the nature of men in his book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. According to Mr Harvey, men are amongst other attributes designed, built or trained to be providers. So we must encourage, support and honour them in the role of fatherhood.
To all the fathers and mothers in the world, whether you have helped to give birth to a child or assisted in raising, training and guiding a child, we say thanks for being a part of our children’s lives. We are grateful to you for your time, effort and resources. We humbly ask you to take up the mantle of teaching other men and women how to become great or better fathers and mothers.
To the men and women across the globe who have not fathered or mothered a child, or do not known how to properly bring up a child, we support you in your growth and development, and encourage you to link up with other men and women who can serve as positive role models. We pray that you will accept full responsibility as designated by God for your role as a father or mother.
And to individuals like Reverend Erica Carty, who have the courage to speak out on these social-economic challenges that our community and other communities worldwide face, we thank you for shedding the light on these subjects that are close to all of our hearts, and for encouraging us to do better.
Let us continue to seek the wisdom of those who came before us and to give thanks and praise to those who are presently in our lives to mould and guide us or show us, by their own examples, what to do and what to avoid doing as fathers and mothers. May the Lord continue in His wisdom to mould, to guide, to train and to enlighten us to be the great human beings that we have all been designed to be.
Kay M. Ferguson is a creative professional writer who has the privilege of having a great father and mother, as well as many father and mother-like figures in her life. If you would like to share your own stories or comments, please email Kay at anguillawriter@gmail.com.
