Sheriff and the Elderly Statesman agree that the family needs saving. This is how I suggest the family can be saved. Thank you guys for allowing me to be on your show last week Saturday night.
When Joshua cried to the Lord for an explanation of their defeat, God told him that the problem lay in the disobedience of one of the families of Israel. In Joshua 7:13-20 we see how one family brought disaster upon the entire nation.
No nation, society, or church can be any stronger than the families that comprise it. Strong families make strong nations or societies. History has taught us that no nation can neglect the family with impunity. The rise and fall of nations bear a clear relationship to the attention or neglect given to the home. If force of arms and laws could have kept a nation or empire strong, ancient Rome, under the Caesars would never have been vanquished. If philosophy, scholarship, and culture could have kept a nation or empire from being defeated, then Greece with its Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle would have been everlasting. (By the wayGreeceis in big financial troubles.) We must understand that future statesman, civil servants, doctors, ministers, teachers, lawyers and judges are being cradled this very moment in the homes of this nation. The future criminals, murders, rapists, drug pushers, prostitutes and robbers are being rocked today by the mothers of the nation. WhatAnguillawill be ten, fifteen, twenty, thirty years from now is being determined at this hour by the homes all over it. So as mothers and fathers we cannot always build a future for our children, we must build our children for the future.
Any nation or church that does not oversee and care for its families is a lost nation or church. Any nation that hopes to succeed must, MUST, I say, recapture traditional family values. Anguilla is composed of families and is what the families make it. The family cannot become an appendix to the plans of Anguilla; it must be the front page. It will take concerted, multi-dimensional effort on the part of all social agencies, including Government, home, school, and church, to accomplish the mammoth task.
The story is told of a little girl who was missing. As several families that were camping in one of the large national parks of theUnited Stateswere settling down for the night, she was nowhere to be found. A frantic search was made. Everyone was looking here and there until late in the night, and still she was not found. Toward the end of the second day, someone suggested that they join hands and comb the region. After some time, someone stumbled over the lifeless form of the girl. “Why didn’t we join hands before?” wailed her broken-hearted mother.
I say at this time that all the agencies ofAnguilla, the agencies of the society, and the departments of the church should join hands for the salvation of the family. Tomorrow may be too late.
The state of the foundation is perilous. Termites have been eating at the woodwork. The times do not afford us the luxury of in-fighting and competition. What must be done must be done quickly. The modern home is in trouble, desperate trouble. The modern family is like the man that Jesus talked about who was travelling fromJerusalemtoJerichoand was robbed by thieves, beaten up, and left for dead (Luke 10:30-37). The priest and the Levite passed by and offered no assistance.
There are many “thieves” that have stripped the family of its dignity and have left it wounded and dying. There is the thief, parental irresponsibility. Some children are brought into the world as a byproduct of their parents’ pleasure, without much thought. They are often left to parent themselves or be parented by the television. I witnessed one such case as I went to a home where two little girls were watching television while the mother and father were at work during the night, so I summoned the mother to leave her job and come home now. (She did)
The thief, teenage rebellion, is creating havoc in the family. Dissatisfied with the raw deal they have received, being forced to live in cold, cruel, calculating world that they did not create, the teens rebel. This is exhibited in destructive behaviour to themselves or to others. The other day a young man inFloridagot up in the morning and declared that he was going to a kill a cop. He stole a car and was breaking the speed limit on the highway hoping that a cop would stop him. The cops did, and the first one that approached him, he shot and killed. The second cop returned fire and killed the young man.
Teenage sexual prematurity is another thief that has assaulted the home. Children who should be playing with balloons are playing with condoms instead, and those who should be playing with dolls have real live babies to take care of. As I talk with high school students about sexual choices, they reveal that there is enormous pressure from several sources to become sexually active. Children are getting children. Sixty-five percent of the births in theCaribbeanare to unwed mothers. The majority are under seventeen years of age. Most will get a second or third child before age twenty.
Domestic violence is a major robber. Many homes can no longer say “Home, sweet home,” for many, home is “Home, violent home.” There is spouse abuse, child abuse and abuse of the elderly. This is a grave concern for leaders at every level inAnguillaand the church and cannot be ignored.
Marital discord steals the happiness for many homes, and is present in a large percentage of the homes of our land. Many marriages end in divorce, while others remain together in disillusionment and despair. It hurts when I have to deliver yet another divorce paper. But there is no marriage so bad that it cannot be made better, and there is no marriage so good that it cannot be improved. The difference between good marriages and bad marriages is not the absence of problems, but the ability of the two people to say, “We’ve got a problem, let’s sit down and work it out.” (It cannot be done by one person).
These thieves have stripped the family. And everywhere there are many hurting families. Every effort must be made to correct the state of affairs and repair the foundation. We cannot be like the priest and Levite and pass by on the other side without helping. Let us be like the Good Samaritan, who stopped, took time, took money, utilized his talents, and helped the wounded man.
What can be done? Here are a few suggestions:
1. The nation, the churches, the other social agencies must become more family conscious. I remember Nineteen Ninety-four was designated by the United Nations as they year of the family. And I think Anguilla can have its own family year. It is high time that the family becomes the focus of the church leadership at all levels of our structure.
2. Programmes to raise the family consciousness of the society should be conducted. Here is where the churches can make an impact. Persons in the church should be trained and commissioned for this work.
3. The Government, the society and the churches should invest in family strengthening programmes. Ignorance and insensibility are our worst enemies. People cannot practice what they do not know. Parenting classes, pre-marriage seminars, marriage enrichment programmes, youth sexuality seminars, youth issue seminars, family enrichment seminars and support groups should be sponsored and conducted.
4. Present Jesus as the Home-builder. Here is where the church can provide its greatest help. Perhaps the churches should leave the politics to the politicians and preach the gospel of Jesus. There is a parable about a man who was riding his horse along a precipitous, mountainous road. Something spooked the horse, and the rider was thrown over the side of the precipice. On his way down, he stopped his fall by grabbing hold of a tree that was jutting out of the sheer face of the cliff. He dangled betwixt heaven and earth. The cliff was too smooth for him to climb back up and the bottom was too far down and meant certain death if he fell on the jagged rocks below. In desperation he cried looking towards the top, “Is anyone up there? Help!” There was no answer. As he got more tired, he cried out again, “Is there anyone up there? Help!” The big booming voice of God replied, “Yes, I’m up here.” “I need help, God.” “Let go of the branch onto which you are holding,” God responded, “and I will catch you.” The man looked up at the sheer cliff that was too smooth for him to climb up. He looked down at the bottom to the jagged rocks that meant certain death if he let go. He paused a while, then he shouted, “Tell me, God, is there anyone else up there besides you?” Sometimes we don’t realize that God is all we need until God is all we have got. Often people are prepared to trust anyone else but God. But Jesus is still the answer to the problems we face inAnguilla.
5. Teach Bible truth. The Bible is a life-changing book. It can make vegetarians out of cannibals; clean-living people out of prostitutes; teetotallers out of drunkards and saints out of sinners. If every home were to become a Bible reading home, the impact on the nation would be seismic, “For righteous exalteth a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people.” King Jehosaphat illustrated this (2 Chron. 18:3-10).
6. Make the church family friendly. There is a strong correlation between church attendance and family success. The more regularly a family goes to church the less likely it is that the family will break up.
7. Restore family values to their place of honour in society. All levels must be taught respect for the elderly. We live in a disposable society. We use paper plates and dump them. We use disposable cups then get rid of them. Some people seem to feel that older people are not of much use. We can, however, learn a lot from the elderly. Society also needs to be taught respect for authority. The “powers that be are ordained of God,” the Bible teaches.
We need to teach respect for womanhood. In spite of the warped messages we may get from the television and other media, women are not men’s playthings. We must also teach respect for chastity and fidelity. This is God’s answer to the AIDS and STD problem. Young people must know that virginity and chastity are not fossilized relics of prehistorical age. They are virtues to be cherished. We must restore respect for honesty and for industry. Hard work is not a crime. It is true that some people seem to believe that if they work hard they will get cancer. This, of course, is a myth. We need to teach respect for life. This generation must be taught to care for their bodies, to regard life as sacred. We must also restore the respect for God. For unless the Lord builds the home, or the nation, those who build labour in vain.
This little Anguilla will be strong if the families are strong. Our church will be strong if the families that compromise it are strong. We have much going for our families and our nation. If the Government recognizes that a strong family is the foundation of a strong Anguilla. We have the resilience of the family. In spite of the reverses that the family has experienced, we still believe in family values. Then we have the religious heritage that is a part of the stability. Organizations let us be ready to be deployed to work for the betterment of the family. We need to harness, mobilize and utilize these agencies. We have God on our side.
Jesus demonstrated His deep interest in and concern for the family by performing His first public miracle at a wedding reception. The story is found in John 2. The wine ran out while the reception was still in high gear. In those days, a reception might last for as many as seven days. Jesus stepped in and turned the water into wine; and everyone was happy. One can go along with a watery, insipid, marriage or family or he/she can turn it over to Jesus and let Him turn the water into wine. Without Jesus you cannot win at marriage and family living. And with Him you cannot lose.
If we really want family success we must depend on the mighty Holy Spirit, the divine Helper that Heaven has provided. In the home where the Spirit of God dwells, there will be seen the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance (Gal. 5:22, 23), but the choice is yours and mine. God bless, Mike.
(Published without editing by The Anguillian newspaper.)
