Gossip! Gossip! Gossip! Oh how we love a juicy piece of gossip. Is that not so? Are we not all guilty of gossiping at some point in our lives? Well, if we are honest, we would admit that it is true, but do you know that gossiping is highly destructive?
While gossip may seem innocent, it has the potential to affect people’s lives and oftentimes ruin them forever. You see, you will not see or understand the high price someone pays as a result or the destructiveness, of gossip until it affects you, but people usually pay a heavy price from other people’s maliciousness.
Wouldn’t you agree that we seldom think about the implications for the person we are gossiping about? At that moment, our thoughts are usually on being the first one to spread the news so that we will get credit for being “in-the-know” and for others to share their gossip with us when they have got some. Those are usually some of the reasons people spread them.
If you are one of those persons who willfully like to start or encourage gossip, it is time for you to stop and think about it. Ask yourself – would I like someone to say or spread bad things about me? How would I feel if that information is placed on the internet: for example Facebook or in the social media? Would I like that for myself? Answer yourself truthfully. How do you feel? Would you want it for yourself? Would you like it to happen to you? If no, why not? That is something we all need to think about.
You see, gossiping is no joke. It should be taken seriously because it is extremely deadly. Just think about its repercussions for a moment. Gossip has no respect for justice. It maims without killing. It breaks hearts and ruin lives. It is cruel and malicious and gathers strength with age. The more it is quoted, the more it is believed. It flourishes at every level of society. Its victims are helpless. They cannot protect themselves against it because it has no name and no face. To track it down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive it becomes. It is nobody’s friend. Once it tarnishes a reputation, it is never the same. It topples governments and ruins marriages. It destroys careers and causes heartache and sleepless nights. It even wrecks churches and separates members. It spawns suspicion and generates grief, and makes innocent people cry.
Gossip also incites fights, ruins friendships and causes isolation between groups. Gossip is quickly told, quickly heard, and quickly spread. Worst of all, gossip is quickly believed. People will confess to doing other things but no one confesses about gossiping. When a person is gossiped about, usually false rumors are passed around that can ruin that person’s reputation. As the gossip spreads, the person has less of a chance of debunking the rumor and keeping his/her reputation intact. Those are the reasons why we need to be aware of it and do our utmost best to eliminate it from our lives. Consider for a moment, how you would feel if the gossip is about you or a loved one. Would you like it? If the answer is no, perhaps you need to consider that the next time you wish to engage in gossiping.
We cannot stop gossiping from taking place but we all have the ability to avoid participating in it. When someone comes to us with a story, it is wise for us to find out the motive and the accuracy of the information as well as our motives in telling the story. If we are not sure about the truth of the story, that should be enough to stop us from sharing it. If it is something that we are concerned about, because someone that we love is involved, we should proceed not by sharing the unverified story, but by going to the person in question and sharing our concern. This can be done by saying, “I heard this and I wanted to make sure it wasn’t true.”
If the story is accurate, and our motive is to hurt the person, to taint his/her reputation, or just because we want to be the first to share the juicy news, our motive is bad and we should consider leaving it alone. It serves no meaningful purpose. Here are some other things we can do as well:
Keep quiet. If the conversation is gossip-related, it might be best just to keep your opinions to yourself. It’s easy to get roped into the gossip chain, and it’s even easier to say more than you originally intended. Keep in mind that anything you might say to someone about someone else can be distorted later. Don’t be too eager to go with the crowd. Be prepared to walk away. Gossip can’t go very far if no one is there to perpetuate it.
Encourage the truth. When information gets passed on from one person to the next, things often become distorted. It is this twisted, inaccurate hearsay that can soil reputations and destroy friendships. An easy remedy to prevent the spreading of rumors — in the workplace or amongst friends — is to attack such unverified talk with the truth. Avoid people who like to gossip and like to make trouble. Heed the words found in Proverbs 17:4 – “Troublemakers listen to troublemakers.” If they talk about someone today, they will also talk about you too. And Jude adds: “These are the people who divide you, people whose thoughts are only of this world” (Jude v.19 NCV). Those are serious charges.
Paul speaks about those who devour one another (Galatians 5:15). He says they should be avoided and disciplined. Solomon also reminds us that, “A gossip reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a babbler,” (Proverbs 20:19). In other words, “Keep clear of them.” The quickest way to end gossip is to confront those who are spreading it. The Bible also states, “Fire goes out for lack of fuel and tensions disappear when gossip stops” (Proverbs 26:20). Romans 12:10 states, “If you can’t say something good about someone, say nothing”. And, as my grandmother once told me, “If you can’t say a word, just smile”. If you can’t say a word just smile. If you can’t say a word just S-M-I-L-E. If you can’t say a word just smile. What wise counsel!
Here is this poem for us to also consider:
Wouldn’t this old world be better if folks we meet would say,
I know something good about you! And then treat you that way?
Wouldn’t it be fine and dandy, If each handclasp warm and true
Carried with it this assurance, I know something good about you!
Wouldn’t life be lots more happy If the good that’s in us all,
Were the only thing about us, That folks bothered to recall?
Wouldn’t life be lots more happy, If we praised the good we see?
For there’s a lot of goodness In the worst of you and me.
Wouldn’t it be nice to practice That fine art of thinking too?
You know something good about me! I know something good about you!
